Which is more terrible if you don't marry or marry the wrong person all your life? The answer hurts countless people.

there is a famous saying in "besieged City": "Marriage is a besieged city, people outside the city want to go in, people in the city want to get out."

Yes, there is a long way to go, marriage has the annoyance of marriage, celibacy has the sorrow of celibacy.

along the way, I have seen too many unhappy people after marriage, and I have also seen too many lonely and lonely backs.

finally learned that there is no choice in life once and for all.

01

the way ahead is to marry the wrong person.

I suddenly remembered the craniotomy that stung countless people six months ago.

in March this year, a woman in Fujian was seriously injured by her husband of 30 years. When

was taken to the hospital, her skull was cracked and severely deformed.

she lay feebly in the hospital bed, dying and had to rely on a ventilator to keep her alive. During the

period, the hospital issued numerous critically ill notifications.

she barely survived after two craniotomy operations to remove several fractured skulls.

but then she was in a coma for 63 days.

when asked why, her son sobbed: "it is no exaggeration to say that my father beat my mother to the ground, unconscious so many times that he could not count his hands."

in the comment area, netizens left messages one after another:

"it's really terrible, let's get a divorce soon!"

"A marriage that marries the wrong person is a blunt knife that tortures a woman."

hit the nail on the head.

like the saying: "to marry in a hurry is to risk becoming an unfortunate one."

Yes, it's not necessarily good to get married, but it's too late to get married.

because marriage is a boundary stone between the first half of life and the second half of life, and it is a battlefield between romance and firewood.

if you marry the wrong person, the road ahead is an abyss-- domestic violence, infidelity, and marriage are riddled with holes;

there are pain, misfortune, and life.

only without the warmth of two hearts, and the happiness of growing old with white head.

this is the weight of marriage that most people cannot bear.

02

I have a friend who has been single for many years without marriage and loneliness with no one to share.

it's not that I don't have a yearning for marriage, but I haven't met the one I love all the time.

so over the years, he has become an unmarried man.

when I work, I look beautiful in all directions;

in my spare time, I go sightseeing and play leisurely.

when seven aunts urge marriage, she always says, "Marriage is not the whole of life, and it doesn't matter if you don't get married."

however, on Christmas Eve, my friends suddenly posted such a circle of friends:

it turns out that when there are fireworks outside, when the food smell of the neighbors overflows, when the family is traveling hand in hand in the street, and when they are alone, I really want to cry.

I was saddened to see such words.

Yes, the biggest pain point of not getting married is the lonely time when there is no response.

after all, no matter how strong people are, they occasionally yearn for a warm embrace.

and the snuggling between two ordinary people is enough to warm the long cold nights of life.

I have never thought that there is a constant criterion for a good life, such as getting married, such as having children.

however, one thing is certain, that is,

being alive and lonely is an immutable proposition.

people with rich experience will want to get rid of celibacy at some moments in their lives.

people with strong hearts will not be able to resist the loneliness that no one shares at certain junctions of their lives.

03

Truth of life: if you make any choice, you will have regrets

I wonder if you have ever seen such a "regret to Life" list:

1, did not do what you wanted to do;

2, did not realize your dream;

3, did something sorry for your conscience;

4, spent your whole life influenced by feelings;

5, did not try your best to help others;

6, believed in yourself

.

this is the result of a study by Hideichi Otsu, a famous hospice care doctor in Japan-"25 things you will regret on your deathbed."

during his many years of medical practice, he recorded and counted the terminal regrets of 1000 patients.

finally, Otsu came to the conclusion that if different people have different choices for the same thing, they will have different regrets.

that is to say, there will be regrets for any choice you make in your life.

there is a saying: "regret is the poison of choice, and choice is the poison of regret."

exactly.

if you enter into marriage, you will be polished by firewood, rice, oil, salt, soy sauce and vinegar tea;

if you do not marry for life, you will have to bear the loneliness that no one asks you about the warmth of porridge.

finally, the people in the besieged city envy the freedom of celibacy, while those outside the besieged city yearn for the warmth of their families.

each other has their own choices and their own regrets.

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they do not know that they are lucky to choose the right one, and it is also an experience to choose the wrong one.

they do not understand that there is no choice once and for all.

and people who are really good know how to take responsibility for their choices.

04

being responsible for yourself is the strength to make every choice

Meyer Musk, who owned four billboards in New York's Times Square at the age of 67, had a life motto: "Life is mine."

she made her first catwalk at the age of 15, dormant for six years, and finally won the title of "Miss South Africa" at the age of 21.

but at the peak of her career, she resolutely got married and chose to get married and have children.

unexpectedly, this became the beginning of her nightmare. For nine years after

, she was overshadowed by domestic violence.

verbal abuse, punching and kicking are normal, and bruising and scars are even more common.

her husband even threatened her: "if you dare to divorce, I will cut your face with a razor and shoot the children in the knee!"

but instead of giving in, she chose to take responsibility for herself, constantly tearing down and rebuilding her life.

start a career in three countries and get two degrees to improve yourself.

having been single for 40 years, he independently nurtured three siblings of Elon Musk, founder of Tesla-not only adults, but also talents.

she said: "if you are as dark as I used to be, I want you to know that there will always be a way out." If you want to live a good life, please take responsibility for your future. "

in the adult world, there are regrets for every choice.

only being responsible for your own choices is a person's greatest strength and the strongest backing on our way of life.

so, when you choose marriage, run it well, don't wait until the end of the marriage to regret;

choose celibacy, be yourself seriously, and don't wait until loneliness corrupts the heart to regret.

people, remember all the time:

whether it is not marrying for life, or marrying the wrong person, there is nothing wrong with it.

because on our way of life, what is more important than choice is the courage to be responsible for our choices.

05

I like the sentence

whether I will regret getting married or not.

the cat in the alley is free, but there is no home; the dog in the fence has a home and has to bow for life.

Life is a multiple choice question. No matter how you choose it, there will be regrets.

Yes, if you make any choice, you will have regrets. Just look away, look down, and look far away.

as long as you are responsible for yourself, you can finally get rid of the clouds and see the blue sky.

May you have the right to choose and be more responsible for your choices for the rest of your life.

May you be responsible for your life and live your life well.

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