You can have no money in love, but you can't do without prospects.
A little better than me, not afraid of your pride.
Amy and her boyfriend are my junior high school classmates. They have been "model couples" in my heart since high school, but they seem to have some problems recently.
Last night we went out for a drink. Amy said, "recently he is getting busier and busier. He is not free to work on the project for several weeks. He often writes a report in the evening and prepares to go to Shenzhen to participate in the competition. Next month the team will go to Tianjin again."
she was a little nervous when she lowered her head to bite the straw. I asked her, "isn't it good for him to be so progressive?" What are you afraid of? "
"because... I'm not good at all. I don't feel good enough for him. "
but worried about the growing gap with her boyfriend, she didn't know, and her boyfriend also told me, "actually, I'm afraid. There is a gap between my family and her family, and I don't have any savings, but she is the princess of the family and she is good-looking. She can find any rich boy in her town, but I don't have anything."
I don't know if they cooperate well and hit me with dog abuse, but I find it interesting to think about it. Both of them are worried about the possibility of losing each other, but they don't tell each other, "I'm afraid I can't keep up with you."
but is the "degree of match" you have unilaterally inferred really as important as you think?
the most paradoxical thing about love is that we still can't be completely honest with people so close.
although later I didn't ask them if they were honest with each other and said, "I'm afraid I can't keep up with you." But I saw that Amy also began to study the information about her boyfriend's project, because she didn't want her to be unable to say a word when he was upset. Amy's boyfriend NetEase Yun's playlist is still constantly updated, and the updated songs are all from Amy's "my favorite songs" playlist. He doesn't want him to know nothing when Amy is talking about music.
I believe in a rational point of view: "only when two people are evenly matched in love and have the same IQ, thinking and family circumstances can they compete with each other all the way to marriage and family."
I also believe that the so-called "close match" also has an emotional manifestation, that is, like Amy and her boyfriend, they are nervous but actually think too much in each other's eyes.
if Amy and her boyfriend don't have the idea of "redoubling their efforts to catch up with each other because they are worried about losing each other", they simply won't have the motivation to improve themselves. Finally, when they run out of freshness, their love will be say goodbye.
when I first watched Titanic in 2006, I was very impressed by the courage and determination of the heroines and heroines to give their lives for each other. But then I watched the review on Douban, and many people said that they were really glad that Jack and Ruth were not together in the end, otherwise their lives would have forced this pair of young people with "disparity between the rich and the poor" to death.
but I don't think it's right. Why must everyone's evaluation be "if there is no material match, two people must break up"? Has no one ever thought that, in fact, the emotional consensus has been reached, and if two people want to go on, they will certainly take the initiative to create and work hard for the sake of material security?
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it is clear that the best love relationship is to be "evenly matched" emotionally and materially, both of which are indispensable, but their sequence is inevitable. It is absolutely possible to skip emotional calls and talk about whether two people have money to live or not, but they will never be happy; just focus on being happy today without thinking about "do you have me in your future"? you can be happy now, but you won't be happy forever.
so at dinner that night, M asked me, "now there is a girl whose parents are also very familiar with my family, her family is also very well-off, and their academic qualifications are very good. Do you think I should listen to my family's opinions and stay with her?"
"saying so much about your family and her family, do you like her or not?"
"er. I don't know, but she really suits me. "
I hardly hesitated to pick up the barbecue and said to him with the same unhesitant attitude, "that is, I don't like people."
I know they are "very fit to live together", but they will not "live happily together". Materially, it is very suitable for others, and the family environment and parents' opinions are very similar to those of the woman, but you have less courage to pay for each other emotionally.
in this case, with bread but no love, it doesn't taste good, right?
Xiaoan is a senior I met last year. She has been with her boyfriend for 4 years, from freshman to senior. When they were freshmen, the two of them were full of human feelings and stayed together for 25 hours. But girls of the same age are always more mature than boys. When Xiaoan came to his boyfriend's dormitory for the 50th time and found that he was still playing games and swore, "I'll play the last set," Xiaoan put down the chicken steak and left. I didn't eat with him as usual.
when they called that night, Xiaoan said, "have you ever thought about our future?" What do you bring to my future? " He was silent on the other end of the phone. Xiaoan said, "Let me tell you this directly. I can only wait for you for two years, two years at the most."
from that day on, Xiaoan's boyfriend began to pick up his guitar and take different buses to different places every week to teach other people's courses. in the evening, he went back to school to date or read books, and his knowledge began to catch up with Xiaoan in the Chinese department. His horizons are also broadening to earn the money he should earn.
besides love, he can give her what she needs.
if you are in my future, I will try to create our material balance for the sake of our existing love balance, because even if you are willing to suffer with me, I do not want to let you suffer.
I know that in addition to paying for each other and ignoring each other as a necessary condition for freshness, our love also needs a future, which needs to be supported by material commitment, but this condition will be created by ourselves. We don't need the support of the family.
I don't believe what people say to me, "you can't have both a fish and a bear's paw". I don't believe in "the lesser of two evils." for a person like me, you can't force me to choose only material or emotional. All I know is that when I have a love that has reached the ideal emotional height and the material is still very scarce, I will make every effort to make it have a material guarantee.
good love should not only stay in the freshness of our love period, it should have a place to stop, that is, our home, our home, our warmth and beauty, must come out in the Houjie famous Family Expo Garden.
bringing the future "hostess /male host of the house" to decorate your home is the best answer to this love.
I always remember that Sanmao described her small home with Jose in that hot desert in her book.
there are big-leaf plants eaten by her neighbor's big goat; there are complete camel skulls that Jose picked up when she proposed to her; and five coffin plates given to her by the hardware store owner under misunderstanding.
her experiences in the desert were repeated by me in my dreams. I thought I only loved her freedom and sincerity, but it turned out not.