The right way to say goodbye to your first love

since some good people set up a WeChat group of their high school classmates, Lin Firan has never been at ease. He clicks on the list of members to see if Zhou Liming has joined the group. Considering that the son of a bitch jumped up and down and was the most active master in the grade, it was unscientific for him not to show up for a long time. But things have changed, who can tell? everything is changing. She has not seen Zhou Liming for nearly ten years. She has no idea what happened to him, what city he worked in, whether he took a wife and had children. This small group, chat with words, occasionally send a photo, with a variety of animated expressions, what can it represent? Having said that, seeing that there are more than 200 people in the grade chatting about the vicissitudes of life in the group, Lin Firan's mood to see Zhou Liming is still expanding day by day. Until she was on the verge of despair, she suddenly saw a 1 with a red circle in the address book. Someone added her as a friend. Intuition never lies. She takes a deep breath and takes a look at it. The message reads: "Beautiful girl, give me a smile." The head portrait is a crayon Xiao Xin in the shape of a fancy crayon. Lin Feiran exhaled that tone for a long time just now, clicked his agreement, and replied, "you don't change your nature, you stinky fool."

Lin Feiran and Zhou Liming became classmates when they were divided into liberal arts and science classes in the second year of senior high school, but the name of Zhou Liming in the first year of high school has been widely spread in the school. He is poor and cheap, so he likes to pursue beautiful girls. It is said that his English teacher is a beautiful woman. On her birthday, he gave her a big doll and a love letter. In addition, he is also quite talented. every time the school holds a performance, he can always write interesting plays for everyone to write and direct. He disdains the adaptation of masterpieces, even though he already knows the world classics. But Zhou Liming has a flaw. He is not handsome, even ugly. Fat, needless, small eyes, flat nose, but also like other people with long hair, looking at people through the cracks in the hair that covers half his face. Lin Feiran thought the guy who looked like Sammo Hung was "a little creepy". Therefore, when she found herself sitting at the front and back table with the famous Zhou Liming after the beginning of the second year of high school, she was not surprised at all.

another reason why Lin Firan is in a bad mood is that she has some problems in the septum of her nose and has had a corrective operation. There was some inflammation after the operation, so she had to wear a mask. At that time, school had just begun, and in September, it was still hot, and she had to meet new classmates. she felt that she really couldn't see anyone. She wanted to put a pair of sunglasses on the outside of her big mask and hide completely and be isolated from the rest of the world. But Lin Feiran buried his head in the pile of books, and Zhou Liming still harassed her. "Beautiful girl, take off your mask!"

Lin ignored him, and he continued to kick the beam under her chair. "Why are you pretending to be a good baby? I know you. The main cheerleader of Class 10, Grade one. He jumped so much on the field. Why did he wither when he entered the liberal arts class?"

Lin Feiran couldn't stand it. He turned back and glared angrily, his eyes burning with fire. "if you don't stop, do you believe this girl will cut out your little eyes and tread on them!"

Zhou Liming smiled so much that the flesh on his face was trembling: "take it if you want, and step on it louder!"

Lin Fei stood up, pulled off his mask and yelled at him, "I'm afraid of soiling the soles of my shoes!"

Zhou Liming put his hands over his face and made an innocent expression: "if it's dirty, I'll buy you a new one!"

Lin Feiran smashed the mask in his hand. "Why are you so annoying?"

"Beauty says she hates it, but it makes me hate it a little bit more!" Zhou Liming held the mask high above his head in both hands and handed it to Lin Firan. "Xiao Sheng has admired teacher Lin's talent for a long time. I listen carefully to every manuscript you wrote to the school radio station." Today, I am honored to be a classmate with Mr. Lin, and I am still sitting next to each other. I am very excited and I don't know what to say. I also forgive you. "

Lin Feiran was completely lost his temper by his successive riffraff drama, and his originally dyspnea nose was only gasping for breath. Zhou Liming opened his mouth again, and his voice pointed to learn from Tsing Yi: "laugh if you want to, beware of anger and blood, suffocating the body."

Lin Feiran finally couldn't help it and laughed out of a snot bubble.

it was the first time that Lin Firan had encountered smelly hooligans, and there was nothing he could do about it. After thinking about it, maybe she surrendered from the very beginning, deliberately leaving him a gap. Women who criticize men for being glib are only hated out of jealousy, and no one really hates men taking the initiative to please themselves.

Zhou Liming sent Wechat to Lin Feiran: "where is it?" Lin Feiran said, "Beijing." Zhou Liming said, "I'm here, too. can we meet?" Lin Feiran said, "Why do you want to meet?" Zhou Liming said, "I know you want to see me." Lin Feiran grabbed his cell phone and smiled: "shameless!"

Lin Feiran first went to the appointed hot pot restaurant and sat restless. For ten years, it was like a gap between two people, but Wechat said a few words of nonsense, but there was no sign of it. He once said: "Lin Firan, in fact, we are too similar people, because this similarity attracts each other, but it is also destined to hate each other for this similarity, and eventually separate." She didn't believe it then, but now she does. That summer's love is warm and beautiful, sweet as ice cream melting stick to five fingers, but also doomed to the wind and waves, leaving only a void.

Lin Firan recalled so intently that she was half a beat slow when Zhou Liming stood opposite her. Who is this wild fat man, with a round face, round belly, small eyes, a flat nose, an unshaven beard and a shaved head. Can that JEEP T-shirt be bigger and longer? it's actually a skirt. The one hundred and eight Bodhi beads on the neck seem like good goods, but will it be too pretentious to wear an emerald wrench on the left thumb?. For a long time, Lin Feiran covered his face with both hands and cried, "what about 'you should cherish yourself more without me'?"

Zhou Liming showed an indifferent expression: "I am taking care of myself without you." But I didn't expect that I would be overweight. I came to Beijing for surgery these days. "

"what operation?" Lin Feiran was so nervous that he beat a drum in his heart, saying that he was fat.If you have cancer or something, I'll stay with you and die for you. But Zhou Liming just smiled carelessly and said, "Liposuction, lose weight and become a handsome guy."

Lin Fei breathed a sigh of relief. Sure enough, bitches don't need to be spoiled. He knows how to spoil himself.

"are you married?" When the food was not served, Zhou Liming asked.

Lin Fei looked away and did not answer.

"come on, you really won't marry for the rest of your life for me?"

"you wish, I'm already married!" Lin Feiran glanced at him, "what about you?"

No. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. She was looking forward to the negative answer. She can't be his bride and doesn't want another woman to replace her. Say no.

but he said, "well, it's done, too." More than five years. "

Oh, it's really a long time. Five years, that means getting married not long after graduating from college. He is so flirtatious, the master of a young man who is not flirtatious, unexpectedly promised a lifetime at a young age, rare.

"introduce your husband. Is your father satisfied?" Zhou Liming rubbed the emerald wrench in his hand, and his tone was full of provocation.

"you really hold a grudge."

"of course, vengeance must be vengeance."

in the third year of high school, an apartment was built outside the school, which was specially rented to senior high school students to facilitate the midnight oil to review their lessons. Lin Firan and Zhou Liming both rented a house in the apartment, saying that it was convenient for review, in fact, it was really convenient for dating. At the age of 17 or 18, there is no such strong consciousness, and the endless review questions are unattractive compared with the whispers of lovers. It happened that Lin Feiran was infatuated with the style of the Republic of China, and every day he thought about either Zhang Xueliang, Zhao Yidi, Jin Yuelin, Lin Huiyin, or Lu Xiaoman and Xu Zhimo, and these were precisely Zhou Liming's strengths. The famous allusions of the Republic of China made Lin Firan a mental handicap fan of Zhou Liming. Hooligans really can not be educated, will let the little girl automatically succumb to his feet. The two people are bored together all day, either watching the snow or watching the moon, coupled with the Leonid meteor shower, the love of youth does not need to be rendered at all, and the rosy clouds on the horizon can light cigarettes.

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however, their high profile attracted the attention of the "authorities", and the head teacher was never kind-hearted. It was just the beginning of the second half of the third semester of senior high school, the loud military songs were played in the school every day, the canteen opened a small stove for senior high school students, the countdown was hung on the blackboard at the back of the classroom, and the atmosphere of "college entrance examination is everything" enveloped everyone. Neither Zhou Liming nor Lin Firan was left behind, but they violated the most sensitive rule, and the head teacher decided to make a big move-to find parents.

Lin Feiran's father was furious when he heard that his daughter was "acting suspiciously" with a boy whose grades were not good but was involved in an affair in a rental apartment. He is a policeman, in uniform, not angry and arrogant. He listened to the head teacher's report with a sullen face, and then went straight to the student apartment. At that time, when school was over at noon, when all the students were on their way, Lin Feiran's father stood at the door of the student apartment and asked one by one, "who is Zhou Liming?" Who is Zhou Liming? Come out here! "

Zhou Liming was walking back with Lin Feiran talking and laughing with his confused hair swinging his lunchbox. He was a little confused when he saw this situation. Lin Feiran said that his father is usually so busy with a case that he can't even see him, so how can he open the door and send a surprise today? She still wanted to run forward, but her father came up first and grabbed Zhou Liming: "Boy, do you know who I am?" Don't you dare touch my daughter. Do you still want to go to college? "

it was only then that Zhou Liming realized that his father-in-law had arrived, hastened to have his haircut cut, and said with a smile, "Hello, uncle!"

"what's good, what's good?" Father Lin was furious. "look at your hair. Do you look like a serious student?"

Zhou Liming smiled: "Uncle, this is the most popular hairstyle in the past two years, and many students do it."

"Don't smile with me!" Lin Feiran's father was not in the mood for joking at all at this time. "I'm telling you, stay away from my girl. It's easy to say anything." If you stick around again, don't blame me for being rude. "

Zhou Liming still smiled: "Uncle, look at what you say, as if I am really a hooligan." Lin Fei and I are clean and clean, you love me and I wish, how can we say that we are stubbornly entangled and beaten? As you can see just now, she smiled so happily that her life in the third year of high school is not boring with a boyfriend like me. "

Lin Feiran's father was poked to the pain point, and he must not allow his daughter's senior year to get mixed up with such a slick guy. There were already many students watching around, and his voice raised again. "remember, brat, I put my words here today. Even if my daughter doesn't fall in love or marry all her life, she can't be with scum like you." If you have the face, go away and read your books and take part in your college. If you don't look forward, I'll take care of you for your father! "

if Papa Lin was angry and could smile at Zhou Liming before, this last sentence really poked Zhou Liming's crucial point. Zhou Liming loves and respects his father most. When everyone is busy with examination-oriented education, his father is the most supportive of quality education. Zhou Liming has never been forced to attend any interest class cram school. He reads all kinds of extracurricular books on astronomy, geography, literature, history and philosophy at will. No matter how difficult it is to get all kinds of excellent movies, VCD and videotapes, his father will try his best to buy them for him. I never worry about failing the math English exam. When I win the prize in the composition contest, the two men will drink beer to celebrate. On the day Zhou Liming was admitted to a key high school, his father rewarded him with a guitar, saying that it was a sharp tool to pick up girls, son, you have to learn. In Zhou Liming's mind, my father is a hero and a prophet. But not long after he was a freshman in high school, his father died in a car accident.

Father Lin didn't know, and a word poked Zhou Liming's heart. There was no more smile on his face. He put his hair back with one hand and began to speak loudly: "Thank you for your kindness. I took note of your words."In front of these students today, I promise that I will be far away from Lin in the future. Not because I'm afraid of you, but because I don't allow myself to be polite to an asshole. Lin Feiran is my baby, but for the sake of dignity, I don't want this baby. " With that, he swung his hair into the apartment and never looked at Lin again.

Lin Fei underestimated Zhou Liming's determination. She first explained the whole story to her father, but her father was adamant and refused to admit his mistake. She apologized to Zhou Liming for her father, but Zhou Liming strongly refused: "Lin Feiran, I don't accept apologies. I can't let my father be humiliated with me." In the future, we will still be classmates and friends, but it is no longer possible to fall in love. "

Lin Feiran began to cry, scolding him for being unreasonable and punishing her for her father's mistakes. Zhou Liming responded: "if he talks to me on an equal footing, I can accept it." But he threw me out as garbage, and I can't accept it. I'm serious about you. I even dreamed of us living together. But our life won't be happy with your father. "

the next day Zhou Liming moved out of the apartment and returned to the school's dormitory, and he automatically applied for a transfer position in the class, sitting far away from Lin Firan.

none of them did well in the college entrance examination. Lin Feiran entered the literature department of an ordinary university. Zhou Liming first failed the list, and then was transferred to a third-tier school according to his will. One south and one north, deliberately angry and deliberately far away from each other. But in the end, Lin was so short of breath that he could not help it. He found out Zhou Liming's address and began to write to him.

Lin Feiran wrote many letters to Zhou Liming, bearing her determination to save the relationship, but he did not respond. Later, I finally replied to a letter, not a word, only a picture. That's a picture of him and his new girlfriend. The girl is charming and enchanting. She is a member of the school's model team. The classmate saw Zhou Liming show his love on the alumni record BBS and took a screenshot to show Lin Feiran. Soon, Lin Feiran dropped out of school and applied to study in Germany.

the hot pot was already steaming hot. Lin Feiran ate a lot of mutton. Seeing that Zhou Liming only drank mineral water, he asked him why he didn't eat it.

"too greasy to eat before surgery."

Lin Feiran reproached, "Why didn't you say so earlier? we went to Gongdelin to eat vegetarian food."

Zhou Liming said with a smile: "I remember that you like to eat hot pot. How much money did the shabby hot pot restaurant outside the school used to earn us? after evening self-study, we slipped past midnight snacks."

Lin Feiran wiped his eyes with a paper towel: "this chili oil is really strong."

"how does your husband treat you? I heard that you went to Germany, but I thought you wouldn't come back. "

"I wanted to go, but I lost my confidence when I was refused the visa three times in a row." I give up. It has been in China all the time. "

Zhou Liming raised her eyebrows. "it's good to hide. No one knows about you."

"have you inquired about me?"

"No." Zhou Liming sneered, "when I got married, I wanted to send you an invitation, thinking that my old lover must be generous and that red envelopes can be filled with plump."

Lin Feiran splashed him with a drink. "A note was added to the red packet saying, 'Congratulations, early knot and early departure'."

"said," Zhou Liming raised his hand and touched his bald head, "really divorced."

Lin Fei did not know what bad water he risked again and jokingly said, "you deserve it. You deserve to be dumped 800 times."

Zhou Liming smiled, "maybe. That's what she said about me. Do not do proper work, do not strive for progress, muddle along, life is not planned, and do not listen to other people's advice. She said that a loafer like me is only fit to be a lover, not a husband. The life she wants is a luxury yacht, but I'm a roller coaster. " Then he dotted Lin Firan with his chin, "how are you?" Look at the fact that you haven't posted your baby on Wechat's moments. What, married status, unmarried mentality? "

Lin Fei giggled, "actually, I'm divorced, too." I'm worse off than you. There was a falling out on the wedding day. I asked him to prepare the bridegroom's speech, but he didn't pay any attention to it and didn't write a word. I said he had no sense of responsibility, and he said I was formalistic and hypocritical. Then quarrel, the usual grievances are vented. He said that I had a princess illness, thinking about the ungrounded spirit of love and snow all day long. He also said that I coveted his family's money and asked me to exchange the emerald bracelet given by his mother. "

"Dog thing, that can also be said. Did you really return it? "

"I returned it at the wedding, and then I left in my wedding dress. I took a bottle of champagne and cried in the taxi. I realized that it was a mistake at all. It's right to stop in the wrong direction!"

"then what did you think? how did you agree to marry an unsuitable person?"

"it's because of you!" Lin Fei blurted out, hesitated in the middle of it, and then thought that there was no need to hide it. "at that time, someone told me that you were going to get married, and I was very angry, and I happened to be chased, so I agreed. I'm just not convinced. Why should you always fail me? "

"I failed you?" Zhou Liming snorted, "if your father hadn't been such a jerk to make trouble for me, I would have left my hometown to spend four years in such a stupid school in the northwest."

"he knew he was wrong and apologized. What else do you want an elder to do? No matter how stupid the father is, he is also the father! "

this sentence comes from Xu Jinglei's movie "me and Dad". Please indicate the source of the quote. "

Lin Feiran was suddenly exasperated by him and said, "Dead!" Don't change the subject! "

Zhou Liming also smiled, "I am happy to know that you are not doing well."

Lin Feiran doesn't remember how long it has been since he ate so happily. Although he is always abused by him, the feeling of being abused is so good. She didn't want to hide her cheap ambition at all. Chat is also about being equal to each other, and it's too interesting to be able to make a gag on the same channel.Things. She remembers that in her third year of high school, Chinese class was boring and she spent all day memorizing knowledge manuals or doing exercises to find wrong words and use wrong idioms. She was too lazy to listen to the class and secretly rummaged through Wang Shuo's novels in the desk drawer. She was amused from ear to ear by the Beijing film and smiled so forgetfully that she was accidentally caught by the Chinese teacher. The Chinese teacher confiscated the novel mercilessly. She was so depressed that she said she would go to the Chinese teacher to cry and get the book back. Zhou Liming said, "be good and don't cry. I have a way." With that, he opened his tablecloth and Lin Feiran looked in and found a drawer full of Wang Shuo.

"Wang Shuo is old, and so are we." Lin Feiran patted his bulging stomach and felt sad.

"you are not old, you can still eat."

if he wasn't too big, Lin Feiran really wanted to kill him and cut him up.

checked out of the hot pot restaurant. Zhou Liming wanted to take a taxi back to the hospital. Lin Feiran said to drive him. Sitting in a small POLO, the music is played at random, which is their favorite Xu Wei. Outside the window is a dark night and decorated with night lights and advertising light boxes, the airtight small space unexpectedly gives people a feeling of being dependent on each other. No one spoke any more, only Xu Wei sang in the same tune for a hundred years: "this is the first feeling, as clear as the sky.". "

the hospital is not far away. It will be here soon.

Zhou Liming said, "Thank you, driver Lin, for driving personally. I'm here." I will keep in touch with each other in the future. " He turned around to get out of the car.

Lin Fei suddenly had an impulse, grabbed his clothes and said, "Zhou Liming, let's get a room."

everyone is experienced. Such a common sentence turns red in the eyes at the first exit. She doesn't know why. She only knew that those overwhelming thoughts and those unsatisfactory regrets pushed her into a narrow corner and forced her to say this sentence. Only if we really get close to him and get him completely can we live up to the huge hole eroded by time in my heart over the past ten years. Then she saw that Zhou Liming's eyes were red, and the lights in the car were dim, but she could see clearly.

Zhou Liming took a deep breath. "next time, when I lose weight and become a handsome guy, it's not a good experience to hold Meat Mountain."

Lin Fei giggled and held back his tears. Although it is an euphemistic refusal, it is also very embarrassing. "Dead, I'm kidding you. You don't read now, do you? you can't even hear the allusions in the book. "

"what allusions?"

"it is written in the best-selling book that lovers in high school did not see each other for many years, but finally met and went to get a room. When he was done, the man went to the toilet to take a shit, and the woman heard the shit fall into the toilet, blowing up the best memories of her life. "

Zhou Liming laughed unusually: "you are so fucking depraved, what a damn bestseller this is!"

Lin Feiran also laughed: "just be a joke." Look at your smile, your eyes are all gone, and they are connected with the wrinkles in the corners of your eyes. When you have finished liposuction, open the corners of your eyes and cut out your eyelids. "

Zhou Liming reined in his smile, "I haven't finished talking to you yet." There is another reason why I can't get a room with you. I have remarried. Six months ago. She is in trouble. I'm going to be a father. "

"Oh." Lin Feiran well concealed his surprise and disappointment and tried to smile gracefully and appropriately. "son of a bitch, when you write a novel, you still have suspense, one pit after another. This is going to be a father is different, ah, mouth is still cheap, but things are much safer. "

"of course, the father of an asshole is also a father!"

"you must be a good father." This sentence is sincere.

Lin Feiran knows that he can't talk any more, and if he says more, he will be more reluctant to give up. Why don't you just say goodbye at the best moment. One minute she felt that she had to have sex with her first lover before she realized that the vicissitudes of the world and that the children of you and me were completely separated and had their own independent lives. The day after tomorrow, she will also fly to Germany with her boyfriend and come back someday. It's the best ending to say goodbye at a time like this.

watching Lin Firan's car walk away, Zhou Liming lit a cigarette, stopped a taxi and went straight to the Cancer Hospital. He didn't finish his story, but he didn't go for liposuction, but for surgery. There is a malignant tumor in the stomach, but because it is found early, there is little risk to operate as soon as possible. Zhou Liming, who has always played the game with cynicism, looks forward to his future life so seriously and cautiously for the first time. I hope I can live for a few years after cutting off the tumor. I hope I can see the child grow up safely, teach him to pick up girls if he is a boy, teach her the art of wolf prevention if he is a girl, and hope to see Lin Feiran happily married in a wedding dress. I hope they can all live safely to the year of fate, and then become gray-haired old men and women, sitting in a rocking chair, talking about their love and frustration in the best times of their lives. In short, hope is a good thing.