Now I have no mountains and no sea.
Now I have no mountains and no sea.
when I was a child, I often looked at the sky,
looked at the stars and blinked;
in a twinkling of an eye, time went by quietly, and
I could not go back to that time.
the rusty iron fence is hung with rusty locks and layers of black and yellow wall skin, and the sense of destruction of the old house shows the shadow of the past shrouded in time.
in the depths of everyone's memory, there must be some unforgettable old stories that are often remembered in dreams. Think of people in the past, think of the past, is to miss the falling melancholy, is the distant fragrance of kindness.
when I was a child, when I was asked what kind of person I wanted to be when I grew up, I always said I wanted to be a host, like the people we saw on TV. At that time, I always thought that the host on TV was nice and good-looking, and that the host was the best profession in the world. With the passage of time, I have long abandoned that childish idea, but at that time the memory will always stand at the end of the distant road, and suddenly float back to wrap me.
when I was a child, in my hometown, there was an unknown mountain, which was called "Beishan Park" because of its position to the north. The mountain was not high, and the hillside was so gentle that it could soon climb to the top of the mountain. The foot of the mountain was renovated into a small park by the government, and the old people who exercised early in the morning occupied large and small corners of the park. There is a towering signal tower next to it, and the courtyard below is the office building of radio and television stations. The gate of the courtyard is always tightly closed, saying that idle people are not allowed to enter.
there is a long and large cave on the mountain, which the old people say is a bomb shelter left over from the war to avoid enemy fire. I had images of old people, women, children, and disabled soldiers snuggling up to each other in the cave in fear, just like the movies about the Anti-Japanese War. That cave became our greatest pleasure when we were young. We did our homework and played hide-and-seek in the cave. As long as we went to Beishan to play, we would certainly go into the air-raid shelter, which was a paradise in our childhood.
there is a cliff at the top of the mountain. Although the mountain is not very high, standing there can still have a panoramic view of the city, and it is also an excellent place to watch the beginning of the sun. In the early days, it was just a piece of open flat land without any guardrail, so it was always dangerous. Later, pavilions were built, guardrails were built around them, and more and more people went there.
in summer, the mountains are always very cool, cicadas sing in bursts, and springs flow out from the cracks in the rocks in the depths of the jungle. People can often be seen climbing the mountain with empty buckets of mineral water. When they go down the mountain, they pick up buckets of sweet and mellow mountain spring water and go home happily.
in autumn and winter, the mountains look depressed, with decadent trees, dry branches and fewer people, but without lush cover, squirrels or hedgehogs can be seen occasionally. After the heavy snow, there was a vast expanse of white all over the mountains, and at that time, there were more people. Putting on a thick cotton-padded coat, hat, scarf and gloves, they went out one after another to find fun in the snow.
there is a huge slope on the side of the top of the mountain, which is long and steep. In the early days, only some naughty children played there, but not many people went there. Later, it was built into a ski resort, and it became very lively. People slid down from the top on snowboards or on raft mats, feeling the wind swishing past their ears, and everyone had a red smile on their face.
when the weather is fine, the sun shines on the white snow, the dazzling light makes people dizzy, but it is an uncompromising beauty. As soon as you open your arms and fall back in the thick snow where there is no trace, the ground will come out with the word "human"; or you may walk with eight characters on purpose, leaving a long trail of marks in the snow, which looks like a wheel running over from a distance.
when the snow and ice begin to melt in spring, the life of the primrose begins to recover, and a small yellow flower emerges from the ground, blooming among the unmelted ice and snow, glittering and translucent. I can always think of the photos taken in the snow and the people in the photos.
that is Cangshan in my memory, my hometown in my memory. Like Mu Xin's song from the past:
I remember that when I was a teenager, everyone was sincere and said a word; when I went to the railway station early in the morning, the long street was dark and deserted, and the shop selling soy milk was steaming; in the past, the sun became slow, the mail was slow, and I loved only one person all my life.
when I was young, my hometown was small, backward and scarce. But the water there is clear, the sky is blue; the people there are simple, and I was simple at that time.
now I live in a city where there are no mountains and no sea, and the dense cubicles in high-rise buildings are like cages in captivity. The hasty pace of high heels seems to be going to war. Crowded roads, crowded buses, crowded subways, like a suffocating heart.
the box called late at night and asked me what exactly is the meaning of life.
she seemed to have drunk too much, ignored me and muttered to herself. She said that the tension and busyness of life made her numb, that she was not smart enough to hit a brick wall at work, that the city's crowding and impetuosity made her want to escape, that the pressure from all directions made her breathless, and that she could only drink one drink after another and smile bitterly.
it is true that, in some ways, people living in cities are scarce. The lack of natural pleasure, the lack of sense of belonging, the lack of space, the lack of spirit. There's so much we're missing. But we live in the city, accustomed to the city, as if we also become dependent on the city, want to escape, but can not escape. In the city, there are the youth we have fought for, the dreams we have persisted in, and the happiness or sadness that we have been boiling with. Thought and behavior are sometimes contradictory.
Mu Xin says that thoughts are like pulling tubes. As long as they keep pulling, they will become thinner and thinner. It is necessary to use tireless enthusiasm and maintain some habits in order to look more handsome in the confrontation with time.
what exactly is the meaning of life? I have repeatedly asked myself that sometimes the brain is dry like the leaves of a tree at the end of winter, which will be shattered at the slightest touch. Maybe it's the habits that you can keep all the time; maybe it's the things that you liked when you were young and you can be happy from the bottom of your heart.
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We are constantly looking for our own meaning, we are all confused, we are all at a loss, we are all depressed. But no matter whether we are crowded or impetuous around us, we still have to try to do what we really want to do. Until one day you will feel great hunger, like a trapped animal, like a newborn baby, you will desperately suck everything you can and move forward step by step.