Will you still miss him?

Don't answer yet.

I know you have a face, a name, and a story in your head right now. Well, no matter what your answer is, I'll tell you that there is only one real answer, that is, you are still thinking about him.

when my best friend went to dinner, she sent me Wechat: he was here today.

I replied to her, "isn't XXX still in China?"

 she sent me an expression: how do you know who I'm talking about?

I sent three smiles covering my face.

think it's wrong, then send it to her: this is fishing law enforcement, breaking the rules.

 about him, everything about him is well known. The "he" in the mouth of my friends can only represent this person, as if there is a place for this person in all conversational sentences, just waiting for this person to come in person each time and then take his seat.  
 

long after breaking up, you are always asked by a friend: will you still miss him?

I will be silent for two seconds and then answer: I forgot long ago.

I think this is free and easy, so it is put down, so it is forgotten. Until once, when I was out for dessert for a long time when I happened to talk about my ex-boyfriend, I casually asked her: will you still miss him?

she was stupefied, then tilted her head and asked me: which one are you talking about?

that's the way to forget a person. The cloud is light, there is no pretending to be reserved silent, obviously afraid of being exposed, but also to play a calm role.

S received his best wishes on her birthday. When she and her best friend sent a message, she said, "do you know who is the first person to wish me a happy birthday today?" It's XXX.

A best friend sent an expression and replied: he still misses you.

think about how long I haven't seen him, maybe I can't even remember his hairstyle now. There are only some fragmentary vague impressions in my mind, the temperature in his arms, the sound of his breathing, his soft belly. S hugged his neck in the car and said, "I miss you so much."

these things all seem to happen too long ago, long enough to think that they happened when they were very young, or unwittingly dreamed of one night.

as for which of the two people is still in the dream, there is no way to know.

the first time I found myself still thinking about you, when I opened iCloud, I saw those auto-saved photos of the past, still squeezed into the memory of the computer. Your smile, your cool play, you run awkwardly when you drink, you are smeared with cake cream on your face, and we lean against each other and make faces.

how long has it been? I don't remember.

I don't want to remember either.

saying that I don't miss you is always a lie. It's all written here. Behind every word and sentence is you. Will you also think of the past when you read here?

there are always some keywords lurking in the story of two people, only need some small clues, can pull out a long list of memories, good and bad, cold and warm, wronged tears, happy to make out, so many, no one can replace.

when many people leave me, I always try not to think about it. I don't want to admit that I don't want to give up, and I don't want to face my fragility. I can't face myself so directly and say to myself: Oh, I really can't stand a person. I want to find him. I want to find him.

No way, he won't reply to me.

you see I'm always fumbling in the chaos of memory.

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looking for some evidence that you loved me to death at that time.

of course, I know it's all futile.

but I'm just trying to make myself feel better.