What the fitness instructor "taught" me.

you may not be able to be friends with them for the rest of your life, but you can see and reflect on yourself. Maybe that's what they taught you.

first of all, this is not a story about losing weight. Secondly, there may be some truth that you already know at the end of the story. I'm 36 years old. I can't drink much and smoke occasionally. After four years of working in this company, fatty liver has finally jumped to severe at the rate of a new step every year. Many people who saw the physical examination report were surprised because they thought I didn't look fat. When I came to Beijing ten years ago, I weighed 65. After that, I entered the publishing industry and sat in a chair all day without exercise. My weight rose to about 71. I entered the real estate industry six years ago, and my weight soared to 75. I was transferred to the marketing department for a year. Staying up late, socializing, working overtime, and finally getting ready to move towards 80 around 79: 00, I don't think we can go on like this. So I got a card at the gym near the company and hired a personal trainer. I said so much background introduction is actually to tell you that the reason why I signed up for exercise is to lose weight and hope to reduce fatty liver. I am a typical sports lazy lover, and I think I would not have become a fat man if it were not for this. I find a fitness instructor for two purposes: first, he can urge me to exercise; second, he can help me arrange a professional training plan. Without a fitness instructor, I guess it would be very difficult for me to have strong Guts to sweat in the gym every day after being as tired as a dog. Choosing a coach is as important as choosing a subordinate. 

Although I'm not a Virgo, I'm really tough. I think there are two things about choosing a coach. First, look at your appearance. This does not mean that whoever is handsome must be chosen. Of course, this is an era of face control, and handsome people will indeed be given priority, but the coaching industry itself is its own best advertisement. If you have a big belly, how can you tell your members that you can help them lose weight? You may despise others to judge people by their appearance, but the so-called heart beauty of the radish, if the surface is potholed and eroded, who can be willing to peel away the erosion to see your soul? It's okay if they don't have a choice. in this case of payment, no one has the time to wait to see your soul. Appearance is natural, and how to discipline yourself is the key to judging whether you are self-disciplined or not, which is why I can't tolerate subordinates coming to work in a white shirt with yellow sweat under their armpits. The second is to look at communication skills. Many of the coaches in this fitness center I went to be in 1992, and at the age of 22, they just graduated. Your speech determines your inner height, and your communication skills determine whether we are suitable for each other. Your negotiation skills determine whether this order can be done or not. I am a very simple person, as long as you make me feel honest, and you can understand, there is no obstacle for us to communicate, then, generally speaking, this order can be signed. The most troublesome person is that he does not listen to your demands at all, only sells what he wants to say most, and then chirps over and over again. He thinks that the more he says, the more you can be fooled, but in fact, the more he talks, the more disgusted he will be. 

This is the best case for the hairdresser who sells cards. When I meet a younger brother like this, I usually say, what do you think a 6000 card is good for me? Why would I do it if it's not good for me? The fitness instructor I chose is surnamed Xiao, with a good figure, a good smile, and good communication skills, but what I admire most is the attitude of being a human being. Frankly speaking, communication has a lot of skills, how to make people think that you are not sophisticated, how to make people feel comfortable and barrier-free, this is a very delicate matter, but the best communication is to put yourself in other people's shoes. a lot of times it determines your character. A fitness class costs 300 yuan and starts for 12 classes. the coach suggested that I buy 24 classes. of course, he would recommend me to buy more, because if I bought more, his commission would be high. I asked him why, and he replied that you haven't exercised before. presumptuous exercise may take a long period of adjustment, 12 classes are too few, and you run out of three classes four weeks a week. You finish the course before you have a solid foundation. I think this is a pity for you. The time for 24 classes is just right, and there must be a change in your weight, and I can apply with my supervisor to give you a small discount. This is a very watertight argument, and then I asked, I thank you very much for asking for a discount for me, but I give you more than 6,000 yuan at a time. How can I believe that you will achieve something with me? If you are not satisfied with this course, you will not get a refund, right? Coach Xiao said that it is really risky for you to take so much money at once. Do you think this is good? I will help you apply for two free experience classes first. You can see if you are satisfied with my training style. You can pay half of the money in advance. If you find that you have no effect in 12 classes, I will give you the next 12 classes for free. Do you think this is all right? Frankly speaking, in retrospect, in this short conversation, Coach Xiao showed me a plan full of sincerity and sincerity. He is a very good communicator. I don't see any skill in him. I am more willing to believe that this is his attitude in life. Later, I had an appointment for his course, but because he needed to take a test in a competition, he temporarily adjusted another coach for me. He apologized on the phone, but the teaching effect of the new coach was not very good. After I finished the class, he sent Wechat, heard the result apologized again, and immediately said that I would teach you the next class free of charge to make up for the problems caused by my personal affairs. I think this kind of on-the-spot response is not just a skill that a newbie can master, but perhaps more is the charm of the personality itself. Many workers are easy to wrestle in communication, either they can't control their emotions and lead communication to a dead end with arrogance, contempt, or confrontation. or it is unable to hide the purpose, too clear-cut motives lead to disgust that leads to the termination of communication. Most of the time communication comes from whether they are willing to communicate with each other, as well as the charm of the main communicator's personality. What do you think of him? This is very important. If you dislike him or don't like him, no matter how good your language is, your eyes, words, and unity in the face of principles can be reflected. You think you are a good camouflage, but in fact, no one is stupid. It is because of the contrast that you have a distinction in many things. Coach Xiao had to ask for a month off to go back to his hometown because of his parents' business. In order not to stop the training, he recommended a coach Liang for me. 

Although I was a little reluctant, it was done, and I thought it was good to have a personal relationship with the coach. I don't want to embarrass him with refunds and other things. Coach Liang is from Fujian, very short, with a small belly, and Putonghua is not standard. Frankly speaking, in the workplace, such people are very competitive, not good-looking, communication and some language barriers, the most fatal thing is that as a coach you can not self-discipline, professionalism is more difficult to believe. Many people always feel that they have a lot of interviews, but get very little OFFER, a large part of it is because you lose too many points in appearance and dress, and your later speech performance does not make up for this deficiency, resulting in the overall score is too average, or even below the average. What kind of clothes and glasses will make you feel more professional? What kind of color and texture make you feel old and refreshed as a whole? These need to be constantly summed up by yourself. I also bring a lot of materials and past works with me when I change jobs at the beginning of the year, but I seldom bring them in recent interviews. Because my job-hunting position has changed, I focus on execution at the beginning of the year, so I need work to prove myself. Now I focus on management, showing more of my understanding and planning ability. Carrying works will easily make people recognize your execution and ignore your ideas. How to adjust your self-status, you have to reflect on each interview, after you have been notified of whether you are in a second interview or if you refuse to do so. Coach Liang has an ordinary appearance, but the training method does have its unique place. He is a person who is easy to learn and has a lot of relevant qualifications. This is also the reason why coach Xiao recommended him so much. In the first session of class, various stretching movements after the warm-up immediately showed that this person had learned loose bone and massage, simple abdominal aerobic training, and several groups of movements instantly reduced the waistline by 5cm. These unique training methods can be regarded as his core competence. Then the first quarrel broke out. The reason is that I made an appointment for the coach's training time from 6: 00 to 7: 00 in the evening. After arriving early, I changed my clothes and found that the coach was chatting with a female member in the field. Then the coach asked me to run for 15 minutes to warm up. I used to warm up for 10 minutes, but why did I change it to 15 minutes today? Is it to pick up girls and have a few more conversations with that female member? Sure enough, the coach didn't show up as before during the running. after 15 minutes of running, I got off the treadmill and found that the coach and the female member were already studying the issue of physical fitness evaluation. I said, coach, I'm done running. Let's start the class. Coach Liang said, wait a minute. I said, Coach, our class time is from 6: 00 to 7: 00 in the evening. We booked the class in advance. If you have something to do, you can arrange a training plan for me. I can practice this class by myself, but you can't take other classes while you are giving me class. I don't think it's right to do so. Later, I specifically reflected on this emotional rebound. I think I am too principled and it is easy to judge others by myself. For example, I think that to work well is to show professionalism, but this does not mean that everyone is like this. It doesn't mean that you can ignore that some people come to work just to dawdle along. 

Once I find that the other person is unprofessional, my emotional rebound is too strong, which is easy to intensify the conflict. Maybe Coach Liang thought my performance made him a little humiliated, so he kept repeating it. Please wait a minute. My principle is that I pay 300 an hour for your training service. Why should I wait? And why should I allow you to take other courses when giving me lessons? I don't accept this, either you don't charge for this class, you should provide good service if you do. Many people may have different views on the issue of professionalism. For example, some people think that to treat work as to complete the task is the most important, as for the relationship between colleagues, attendance, group activities are not so important. Some people may think that to go to work is to follow orders step by step. During each interview, the immediate leaders judge whether you are professional or not, partly because of your understanding of the job, and partly by your positive attitude towards the job during the probation period. Is it negative? Is there a plan? Or messy? Some people may think that this is a matter of personal work habits, but in many cases, you will find that people who pile up all their work at the end of the month will think that their bad temper caused by busyness can be tolerated, but it's all your fault. The result of the dispute that day was that the last female member said to talk about it another day, and then the coach began to teach me a lesson, but because I had been emotionally difficult to balance, the training result was not good. I am a person who is not willing to have a face-to-face confrontation with people, because it is easy to create estrangement, and once many things tear face and blame each other, it means that the contradiction is irreconcilable. Once I have a conflict with someone, it will take me a while to adjust, so when I think about it, it is not wise to hold my breath and go to class. I should stop the class now and calm myself down. There is no doubt that coach Liang's weakness in communication has been revealed at this moment. Throughout the class, he did not make an explanation or apology for what had just happened. 

Maybe he was embarrassed and embarrassed, maybe he was not good at expressing himself. I don't know if you are in the same state in the workplace, especially when you are accused of making mistakes, you don't know how to break the deadlock, but I think that apologizing and admitting is the best decision at the moment, and the shorter the time, the better. After the whole class, on my way home, I received Wechat from Coach Liang, which probably said, "Today is not good."It means that your running time is not included in the training time, and our class time is guaranteed to be sufficient every time. This feeble explanation is easy to makes people feel more depressed, meaning: the time for running is not the time you paid for, so it does not belong to you, but this unilateral excuse does not stand on each other's point of view. if our class time starts at six o'clock and we need ten minutes of running warm-up in front of us, you can bring it up. I can arrive more than ten minutes early and warm up before six o'clock. Because maybe I have something else to do after seven o'clock. Everyone's time is precious, which doesn't mean it's free, so you can wait forever, and it's not enough for you to take classes and sell for other members in the middle of an appointment for a private one-on-one course. Then I thought about it and decided that it would be very sad to train with a coach who felt awkward in the future, either to change the coach or to refund the coaching fee. At the end of the negotiation, coach Xiao called to mediate and settled, and I got two free classes as an apology. Not long after the matter was over, there was a second disagreement. August 1 is Friday. I had an appointment for 135 classes. The day before, the coach suddenly said that you should practice this class by yourself. I have to sort out the membership list today, so I can't go to class for the time being. I said yes, you send me the training plan. Coach Liang replied, "Yes, I will send you the diet plan later." Check the email early on Friday morning and find that there is no new letter in the mailbox. Ask the coach, and the coach replied, "I'll send it to you later." After four o'clock on Friday afternoon, I saw the coach chatting in the WeChat group and asked about the training plan again because I was going to exercise after work. 

The coach said that if you practice your back today, it is a routine exercise. I will send you the diet plan in the evening. I said, you'd better tell me, for example, what kind of equipment, how much weight to add, there are no detailed instructions, this is not a plan. The coach said you have to try to make a plan that suits you, and the coach can't stay with you for the rest of your life. I said I think my purpose in looking for a coach is to provide me with professional guidance so that I can achieve my goal in a short time. I didn't think that I would develop my own sports hobby through my two months of training. or become a professional athlete. The coach said, I still want to train a member instead of teaching a member. Since then, communication has entered a bottleneck. Then I suspended the training session and began to reflect on my communication model. 

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I like professional and reliable people very much, including keeping their promises and your mastery of professionalism. I think these represent the attitude. So for people who don't keep their promises, or who are more casual, I can easily feel resistance, which leads to a communication barrier in the first round. From the two rounds of differences, we can see that Coach Liang himself is a person who likes to make excuses for himself. For example, if you point out that it is wrong for him to take other classes during class, he will explain that your warm-up is not included in-class time, and even if you miss me, I will give you more time later. For example, when I point out that his exercise plan is too general, he will explain that I hope you will learn to make your plan. Therefore, if he is a person who is easy to make excuses, then correction is not realistic, this is his coping model, and it is not realistic to ask him to follow my logical thinking, it will only make him more unable to come down to Taiwan, and will find more inexplicable excuses because of face-saving. Not everyone can be your work partner, and not everyone is willing to have the so-called requirements for self-improvement. When you encounter problems of the same nature twice in the same person, you may need to reflect on whether your way of communication has not changed with each other's changes. It's easy for everyone to be self-interested, that is, I don't change my method, and I hope you can adapt to me. This can be more or less strong, but if your coach or subordinate is like this and you have the right to do so, it is usually to replace people who are "uncooperative" because of their poor cooperation. 

But if today's coach Liang is my negotiator or a partner, I have to face a situation of working with such a person. Then you can only adjust your strategy. For example, to maintain good communication with each other, the promise that each other will continue to buy classes at the end of the course, to maintain common interests, is generally the so-called vision. To judge that the other person is unpunctual and easy to be perfunctory, you need to revise your strategy, change it to more supervision, refine your requirements, and make a clear purpose to get a detailed plan. The so-called communication is not for communication, but communication. If you can't change the other person to meet your requirements in a short period, you can only change the way you request to get the result you want in the end. Of course, the most important thing is to do a good job of emotional management and make a good summary at any time. I used to take a taxi with a brother, who said that all the people who cheated on you were helping you. Now when you think about it, it's easy to get results in good times, but you don't have to reflect. If it were coach Xiao, I might be happy to be trained for being served, but I wouldn't learn it. Because there is a problem, there is reflection. Maybe this is also the most important thing that people who upset you and can't communicate with you can show up around you and teach you. You may not be able to be friends with them for the rest of your life, but you can see and reflect on yourself from these. Maybe that's what they taught you. this is what my fitness instructor "taught" me.