Sugar girl

Mr. Z and Gu Zan confessed their love. This Mr. Z, who has been secretly in love with Mr. Z for many years, and Mr. Z, who has a rich family and looks better than Panjim, confessed his love to Gu Zan. When I almost exclaimed congratulations in the way I had almost celebrated, Gu Zan said coldly that she refused. Gu Zan learned from an early age, naturally to a famous school, the high school is the best in the country. Of course, there are also children of cadres and children of rich families. Gu Zan and Mr. Z met at school. They were both students of the art class in a famous school. Mr. Z played a good piano and Gu Zan painted a good picture. They talked about everything and were intimate. Mr. Z is congenitally advantageous, and his relationship has always been full of stars and moons. 

Encounter unpleasant things, Gu Zan has been playing the role of confidante, duty to relieve boredom, enlighten chat. Mr. Z felt that Gu Zan was so good that he was so dependent that everything was considered for him, and his daily routine was tedious and considerate. He felt that he could never find a girl who was more sensible than Gu Zan. He didn't have to spend so much effort to take care of and help him, but their relationship always stopped at friends. Gu Zan is very good, is everyone's ideal bosom friend, appears when needed, disappears when not, and plays an awkward and important role in your life. Mr. Z is so used to her kindness that he forgets to return care and love in return. When Gu Zan was still in primary school, his parents divorced, Gu Zan followed his mother, and the two women depended on each other and suffered everything. In order not to affect Gu Zan's life too much, Gu Zan's mother tries her best to make money. She gives Gu Zan enough pocket money every month. Gu Zan has a good personality and is very popular, and she has been in harmony with the children in famous schools since childhood. Everyone thinks that Gu Zan is generous and lenient. they feel that Gu Zan, like them, does not need to worry too much about tomorrow's life. After graduating from high school, Mr. Z studied in a famous school, and Gu Zan was admitted to the Academy of Fine Arts. Two people live their own lives, but they also keep in touch with each other intermittently. Both of them have had several relationship experiences, but neither of them is very satisfactory. Gu Zan of the university has been in love twice, using her words to evaluate the two EX, one is scum, the other is scum in scum. 

Scum No. 1, commonly known as the Beast School, takes playing and disappearing as its main skill, and often kills Gu Zan in a daze. No.2 scum label impressionist, good at cheating and summoning the other woman. After being forgiven by Gu Zan accidentally, it is upgraded and summons the four and the fifth. Sometimes people's forgiveness is a kind of indulgence, is a kind of acquiescence to the injury. Sister Zan tried her best to fight wits with the enemies, but she was defeated after all. I can't help it. She is too low in the game of love. It is not that she is unintentional in practice, but in her opinion, honesty and persistence can retain people more than tricks and means. She thinks that sincerity can be exchanged for sincerity, and she thinks that the loss of trust is the same as the loss of love. Then she began to question herself and no longer gave herself up so easily. All the people who failed and missed were defined by her as shallow affection. 

After graduating from college, in order not to make his mother so tired, Gu Zan was far away from the friends of the "successors". A person came to work hard in a foreign land, and his height of 1.6 meters disappeared in the crowd. He struggled in the automobile industry, was flirted by his boss, was slandered by colleagues, and fumbled all the way. She also asked herself the question that countless young people had asked herself about what I was fit to do. She began to find that we worked so hard just to live a little easier, people these hands, sometimes the strength is small to make people want to cry it is not this pair of hands, but the wrong way. At that time, the girl who wanted to be beautiful, wanted to play rock and roll, wanted to be a makeup artist, wanted to study aliens, wanted to travel all over the world, wanted her mother to be happy, and wanted to be good to a boy for life, now she just wants a higher salary. 

Gu Zan's words became less and less, and she was no longer struggling or afraid as if she were ready to be slaughtered by life. She hasn't cried for a long time, nor has she admitted her weakness to anyone. There were many moments when I didn't get on the bus, and there were many moments when I struggled with the cockroaches in the house. Gu Zan asked himself what all this was for. You might as well try to find a good man to marry. Gu Zan can easily get rid of the rats in the house, but the bug with many feet is the fatal wound she fears most. once she was bitten by an unnamed bug and couldn't go to work after being allergic for a month. Not afraid of allergies, but a month without salary is much more uncomfortable than allergies. On a dark and windy night, Gu Zan brutally killed a young Xiaoqiang with spray, and accidentally slipped to his head when he got up. She lay on the ground alone facing the shiny and coquettish body of the worm, the pain quickly occupied the lacrimal glands, and finally burst into tears. She put all her unhappiness in work and grievances accumulated in her life into tears and decibels and released all the dirt that had been deposited in her body for a long time, even though she knew that there was heavy traffic outside the window and the city haze was deep. no one can hear her call for help. Perhaps only girls who have struggled know that such crying is gorgeous molting, and they will eventually move towards themselves they want in such a release.

Gu Zan also learned to compromise. She once made a blind date with the attitude of giving it a try. After a harmonious meeting with a rich second generation with better conditions, Gu Zan decided never to do such a thing again. Friends gathered around the table and asked her why. Gu Zan looked melancholy and said with a little helplessness, "I can't talk about what I don't like." A circle of people laughed, and Gu Zan drank the wine from the cup, putting a "complete" end to his blind date career. 

She can't bear to hug someone she doesn't love for half a minute. She knows that there is no emotion, only the need to make do, and single is the same kind of loneliness. Her life is too real, love is lingering, hate is invisible, her truth is her acting skills, in this scene of life, she also learned from others to draw a skin for herself, but others painted someone else, but she painted herself. In a series of defeats and games, she has survived the ignorant process of childishness and bone erosion, and now she can take out her embarrassment to talk and laugh, or she can calmly talk about men and talk about the past. Love, this thing, can not stand the years, can not pass human nature, she is walking in the process that everyone should go, but some people come out, and some people are lost in their whole life. Some men ask Gu Zan with true or false feelings: "shall I chase you?" Gu Zan looked at him in surprise and said, "Brother, what kind of logic is this?" The person who confesses his love should be responsible for what he said. You can chase me, but don't let me know. Otherwise, I will refuse you. It's not that I don't give you a chance. You ask me if I can do it before you chase it. Of course, I say no. 

You measure the return before you pay. Who are you going to pay for your efforts? You'd better buy attempted chase insurance. If you don't catch up with the insurance company, you will make a mistake with the insurance company. Hey, you are going to touch porcelain if you are a big man. " After several rounds like this, the pursuers all felt that Gu Zan had a thorn in his body and stayed away. Someone advised her to hold back and not to scare away the good men. Gu Zan said, "if they think I'm bad, it's only because they haven't tamed me, and they can't control me yet." Yes, she is no longer easy to be kind to others, nor easy to accept the kindness of others, and the size of her requirements for love will not be relaxed because of the passage of time. Others think that she is harsh. Don't you know that all the strictness and bitterness come from the long-term expectation of happy love? She doesn't listen to the nonsense that a woman is a treasure before 30 and has to be discounted after 30. She sets the price for her life. She doesn't want to play, she doesn't want to try, she just wants to spend the rest of her time and heart watching her cry, laugh, wash and cook, and watch her make trouble.

 This year's Valentine's Day and Lantern Festival are one day. Mr. Z called and asked Gu Zan to go back to high school for a walk. The two men chatted along with the playground. Later, when it began to snow in the sky, Gu Zan thought it would be nice to walk with him like this, and the two people accidentally turned white. Mr. Z suddenly said, "come to my house and meet my parents. They want to see you. I think we can confirm the relationship." Gu Zan was startled by this sudden gesture, the air stood still in that second, the snowflakes fell on the head like a deliberate booing, the breath dispersed into a stunned expression, flying bigger and bigger. At that moment, everything that happened at school seemed to rush to her at the same time. Everyone went back to the classroom, they took off their trench coats and down, put on their white and blue school uniforms, and the two shy students encouraged each other shyly in front of the forbidden fruit tree. Gu Zan felt that he would drift if he went on like this, settled down, enjoyed a moment of sweetness, and refused him with a smile. Her unexpected and humiliating, his dilemma and inexplicable, accompanied by a romantic atmosphere, awkward indulgence. 

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Fireworks have been premeditated for a long time, burst into pieces of sigh and surprise. He was surprised. He didn't understand, he didn't understand, and he didn't understand. He thinks women like duplicity or pretending to be reserved. But how could he know, perhaps in the eyes of Gu Zan, such a confession of love could not be regarded as a declaration of love at all, and such a gesture of love itself might be with a proud gesture. You liked me for so long since I said it, how could you not agree? you have no reason not to agree. Dear Mr. Z, do you know your excellence and your pride and praise are deeply understood, so from the beginning she felt that you were far enough away that she could not see or touch you, she worked hard, she struggled, she wanted to be close to you. After so many years, your distance has not changed. No matter how hard she tries, she can't beat you, but you take care of yourself. She stood on tiptoe to reach you, smiling patiently, hoping that one day you would look back at this stupid girl who was not very thin and stumbled a little. She has always been your best friend on call, and even if you suddenly change your mind, why can you inform yourself of such an important thing as meeting your parents? Or, if you can show that you like her more and give her more encouragement and praise, she will be more confident and have more courage to be with you. She can also risk her life so that she can stand side by side with you in front of the court and pay homage to the world. In love, she does not ask her lover to support her before and after, but the one who asks for love is leisure, and the love is neither humble nor arrogant. But you didn't, there is still a long distance between you. People from two worlds, different lifestyles, and different values have all weakened her courage. How can such differences make two people go for a long time? if they are not suitable to be separated, then they will lose their qualification to be friends. What's more, the two people made a big circle, and their childish love in their student days had already become another flavor. Gu Zan was not sure whether he still liked Mr. Z, or just always felt that he was a dream of his ignorant period. So to avoid the end, she simply avoided the beginning. Everyone in the world loves white, rich, and handsome, but perfect people don't exist at all. we all choose between material and spirit, character and morality, make a rational analysis of our feelings, and put ourselves up for sale. Gu Zan grew up to be the kind of girl that Mr. Z never had. She had to fight for what she wanted on her own. What was given by others, she held it in her hand, but she could not get into her heart. She never dared to enjoy the beauty that fell from the sky. She felt that all the rewards should be paid. She was independent like a small animal who had left the group since childhood, stubborn and alert, lively and tired. She is really tired, but she is still willing to be serious and idealistic about feelings. She is waiting for that person, waiting for the man who even takes a walk to accommodate her, she no longer asks for a 100% boyfriend, but two vulgar people who want to be warm to each other, together through the wind and rain, watching the ebb and flow of the tide, snuggling up to the whole world and wasting time together. Such a girl can not eat soft food but digest the expectation. So she found that she was better at waiting than others. When spring came, the ice and snow began to melt, the streets of the north were foggy, and Gu Zan rode her bike to work armed with gloves and scarves. She was in a hurry and the road ahead was so confused that she was so nervous that she didn't feel sorry for losing the opportunity to cry in a BMW.

 She is still clumsy like a cube of sugar, slowly dispersing in the bitter and sober cup of life, hitting the wall everywhere, bumping up against each other again and again. In, lose, grow. Finally, she learned to deal with chaos, learned to take one for a hundred, and learned to open up a future in the most embarrassing state. A few days ago, Gu Zan told me that she had got her first quarterly bonus, and before she could reward herself, she began to invest in some small businesses, setting up stalls and delivering goods during the break. Rest has very little time, so there is no need to draw eyeliner with dark circles under the eyes. I imagine a time in her eyes like a little water, blink, that pair of eyes will not deceive people, or pretend to be a firm, with bittersweet after the remaining youth, went to the agreement, day and night. Happiness is still far away, loneliness is still long. But on the way to myself, I still believe in her stubbornness.