Live alone-you might as well start over with yourself

Live alone-you might as well start over with yourself

Life is too short to pursue what you want.

one day, a boy said to me, "if you help me move with me that day, just move two or three times." I have mixed feelings because I moved to my own home. Sometimes I am a man, but he must not love me and ask me to move, right? Ha.

the heart of a girl, the life of a man, is the biggest curse on himself.

my favorite corner

I feel brighter this year because I live alone. (this is a sentence I wrote when I first moved into my small rental house in March.) as a result, it is already August. Maybe if I don't write about it, it will be next year, and I have been in this room for five months.

Last year now, I recall that the whole person is in dire straits.


not long ago, many friends suffered from depression and saw the news of suicide, which made me think a lot. I had May disease a few years ago, but I didn't have an attack this year, thank God.

when people reach 30, they are always troubled by the problems of the future, the past, life, love, work, fear, confusion, failure, and depression, but there will be troubles at any age, just at 30. The idea that you have a strong desire to change something comes to you. At first, why do you feel so painful? others think you are a beautiful human being, and you are already a terrible person in your own eyes. It's hard to like and accept myself no matter what. Fortunately, I still have the idea of hoping to get better.

but what does this have to do with living alone?

have been thinking about how to be happy.

I have tried some methods:

"dating software"

I don't know how to make friends in reality, and I feel that the social circle is very small. The next dating software, commonly known as dating software, turns out to be used as a chance for artists and designers, or you can also study the indifferent side of human nature, and laugh at straight men's photo skills, denying a person in half a second. When I think of it, I would like to write an article to talk about it.

Travel

I just came back from Japan. Every time I had to experience the joy of coming back, I wanted to go to Europe. Then

"Shopping"

according to some blogger recommendations, buy some things that improve the quality of life, such as a facial washer, electric toothbrush, and Morocco hair oil. I don't feel much better after using up a bunch of lipstick, but shopping does have a sense of honey pleasure, but there will be a copy of my list later.

"exercise"

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go mountain climbing, hiking, occasional swimming, gym don't like to go.

those who feel that things can ease the state of despair, I want to do it quickly and get rid of my despair.

"go to a psychiatric hospital"

hope that you can adjust in time when you are aware of your psychological and physical problems and don't wait until you collapse to see a doctor. Once I went to see a doctor of traditional Chinese medicine, but I was late for overtime. I felt that I had caused trouble for the doctor. The doctor only asked me why my pulse was beating so fast. I burst into tears on the spot. I realized that I had physical problems caused by mental problems, and then I went to the psychiatric department. While waiting, I saw a woman supported by her husband, her eyes glazed, and I could feel that she was soulless.

when I saw what a walking corpse is for the first time, I didn't think I was that sick after seeing her. Although it is shameful to base happiness on the tragedies of others, you will know that many people have to face disasters that they cannot face, and there are too many young people like us. These are normal problems. Don't think that no one in the world understands you. Don't isolate yourself. It's no use moaning without illness. Adjust immediately, talk to friends, take a deep breath and shake your body when you are out of breath. Let the energy go back into your body, accept your imperfections, find a professional to help you sort out the problem, find the root cause, forgive yourself, and do nothing. It's like waiting to die.

"fall in love"

sometimes I feel that when I am in love, I completely forget what it feels like to be alone. If I just want two people together, I will be afraid of being alone. Recently, there is more than one person who thinks he can become a boyfriend, and he has experienced the experience of being lovelorn before falling in love. My friend laughed at me and said, "where can I find so many scum men?" I want to laugh.

so I went out for a drink with my friends. I stood by the side of the road and lit a cigarette. I overheard a little post-90s girl and her boyfriend saying, "you never know what's going to happen next." it turns out that people now use seconds to calculate their lives. I feel that no matter how many times I go through it, I feel pain, but unlike in the past, at least I know that at least one person is very good.

True love is impossible to find. It's enough to take it seriously every time. This year, you finally learn to let go bravely.

I am not afraid at all when I am used to being alone.

it seems that because of my small space, I am free to face myself.

moved out this year, ending the days of living with my parents, which may be the most normal thing for many people. There is nothing to say. It feels good to live for others all the time and to start doing something for yourself.

"previous me"

every time someone says he wants to come to my house, it always makes me feel embarrassed. You are learning to draw. Your home must be very beautiful. (fart)

is usually called the garbage woman by familiar friends. Although she still looks like a person when she goes out, the room is robbed after changing clothes, cosmetics are scattered on the table, and the mouse can not be found.

the university has a brief experience of living outside. At home, the basic daily routine is that my mother beat gongs and drums to clean and curse me every day, and every day I am still slumped on the bed like a piece of mud, usually with books, mobile phones, iPad, clothes, bags, toys, sometimes hats and socks, wine glasses, candles all over the tablecloth, and sometimes cigarette ash bounces directly into the incense stove, or you can sit on the bed and eat.

pile clothes on the bed when the work chair is about to sit and pile things on the chair when the bed is about to lie down, and finally the chair does not sit, and the computer does not turn on, so lie down.

my sister came to help me clean up my room, went to Ikea to buy storage boxes with me, and told me to break up.

I began to clean up. Finally, I turned out the paintings from more than ten years ago and began to recall the performances I had seen before and the state of learning at that time. I began to look at my notebooks, lost some publications and postcards from the exhibition, and then began to think, ah, will others go home and throw away my exhibition brochures and postcards? it's sad to keep it and feel sorry for what has been thrown away. Fortunately, I am a Virgo, the moon is also cancer.


but I always want to be surrounded by beautiful things. I want to have my studio.

"I don't want to hate myself anymore"

I hate people who complain all the time but don't change, such as me. No matter how many psychological books I read, I know that everyone has problems. I know too many problems. I don't know where to start to change. I really can't read anything, but I keep making excuses. Maybe he has been living a scrap-like life because of his bad living habits.

but when you want something, it happens.

sometimes I believe that when we are very young, we decide what kind of person we will become when we grow up, just because of time and growth, forget who we used to be, and what kind of person we wanted to grow up to be.

when I was a child, my favorite thing was to go to the library to read books such as interior decoration and packaging. I fantasized about the house where I grew up. I felt that I couldn't afford to rent anyway, so forget it, just save money for a trip.

one day my friend told me that she no longer rented a single apartment. The rent was cheap, but the room was empty. Right away, I said I wanted it, and I don't know why I feel a sense of pleasure that I can start over.

my friend's room is Zhou Zheng's singleton apartment, which is 20-30 square meters. I was thinking that since I want to move out, I should put all the things I like in the room, and I can spend a day shopping for ashtrays. Because of the limited funds, there is no capital for innovative decoration, so we have to rely entirely on soft equipment.

I have lived in some Airbnb houses before, and they are all beautiful. Living well really makes people forget their troubles.

the female friends I admire are also independent, single, make the room interesting, have a good career, have a good sideline, full of creativity, and love travel and photography. I look forward to the image of a woman.

my friends also like to come to my little place to stay, and they will ask me where I bought my things, so they record something. Although they still have no boyfriend, no good career, and no money to buy a house at the age of 29, they can still have fantasies and create something for the future.

about style

first, fantasize about what style you want, draw a picture of the room layout, and measure all the dimensions. The size of each wall of the room, the location of the curtains, the size of the bed, the space of the cabinet, the size of the table, the distance between the chair and the sofa, and so on.

1. Minimalism is very good. I like black, white and gray, which is very suitable for the feeling of being in a studio.

looks very suitable for work

2, the most dazzling national style is also my style, usually like totems, flower skirts, and tassels, all kinds of bohemian styles, Morocco, Mexico, India, and African totems all make me excited.

I feel like the room I want to live in

3. I also like the country style very much. When I was a child, I fantasized about living in a wooden cabin, liked the original wood very much, and began to think about learning carpentry.

I want this coffee table

4. Loft Industrial feel also likes

the big space

"the dream is very plump, but the reality is very bony."

I just can't break up. I want beautiful and interesting things. I want to change the tiles and lights. (no money, give up)

the last work area and the wall on the other side of the bed were painted gray, hoping to make me work and sleep calmly. The leisure and entertainment area (sofas, carpets, places to drink and eat) becomes brightly colored and mixed with patterns. Only one light bulb was changed, and they were all yellow.

it is rare to have the opportunity to buy almost a hundred things at a time to know what a career a software designer is, how to think about it and how to put everything together to build their relationship. After consulting some friends about where to buy things, I found that I like things that are the same as my dreams. According to this calculation, I should eat dirt directly after buying things. And I like to go shopping for some cheap and unique things. I feel like buying a favorite two at a roadside stall. Handmade or handmade goods are more enjoyable than buying an Apple computer. Some friends recommend me to pick up rubbish in the factory. Well, I am lazy.