It's loneliness that makes you stand out, not gregarious.

enjoy loneliness. Be moderately divorced from the group and learn to get along with yourself. Loneliness is precious, in such undisturbed time and space, it is a great "freedom" to arrange how to spend this time by your wishes.

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compared with Westerners, Chinese people are more afraid of loneliness, do not know how to enjoy a person's time, care too much about other people's opinions, always want to find their sense of existence in other eyes. In order not to be labeled as a "loner", and deliberately frequently participate in some social activities of little practical value. In the eyes of Westerners, the Chinese are a bit "over sociable". What is effective social interaction? Have clear issues and goals, and be able to develop around them; find problems and solutions; reach agreement; identify follow-up work and responsible people; and control time and efficiency. Of course, this is for work, no one in life will be so rigid. Personally, for personal social activities that have nothing to do with work, it is normal to spend less than 2 times a week on average, and it will consume you excessively (time-consuming, money-consuming, life-consuming) if it is more than or equal to 3 times. Let me cite two examples: a, about two or three former colleagues who have a very good personal relationship, have an AA lunch, improve their relationship, talk about their current situation and plans, open up their ideas, and stop by to see an exhibition before going to work in the afternoon. it not only relaxes the mood but also fosters interest and does not delay work. It is effective to socialize with a clear purpose, to control time, and to kill more than one stone. B. After meeting the customers in Sanlitun in the afternoon, it's not time to get off work, but it's not worth going back to the company now, and I don't want to go home. What are you doing? I casually posted a message on What's moments: "is there anything near Sanlitun?" Have a drink with me on Sing and kiss me. " In an instant, there were a bunch of replies (just because of beauty), one half an hour later, two in an hour, three in two hours later, some were not uncooked, some had never seen them at all, and left after half an hour. I was still going in and out after one or two o'clock in the morning, drank a lot of wine, didn't eat much food, sang until 4: 00 in the morning, came out for a midnight snack, and it was 6 o'clock when I got home. Plunge into bed for two or three hours and go to work with a tired body, a chaotic mind, and a sense of guilt. Pure loneliness, emptiness and coldness, no practical purpose, no specific people, uncontrolled time, throwing money to destroy the body and delay work, this is excessive social interaction, ineffective social interaction. The direct consequence of excessive socialization is that one's own disposable time, money, and life are wasted, especially time. For workers in non-traditional industries in first-tier cities, except for work, transportation, and sleep time, the daily disposable time is very limited. This precious time could have been spent thinking, reading, developing interests, self-improvement, rest, fitness, health care, falling in love, taking personal jobs, starting a business, and so on. If you socialize too much, these things will be squeezed and even disappear from your life. 

Here, I would like to emphasize "thinking" in particular. Why think? Because during the working hours, there is no quiet environment or whole piece of time for you to think calmly. People are constantly thinking to remove obstacles, precipitate advantages, a clear direction, and achieve sustainable growth. A person who works hard every day without looking for time to think independently will not make any progress. What are you thinking about? Think about the problems at work today, what experience and school motto you have, and how to improve them; think about your work and life plans for tomorrow; think about an interesting thing that happened today; think about an inspiration that is hard to refine during office hours on today's stickers; think about what important things I haven't done, what important people I haven't seen, and what important places I haven't gone to. Enjoy being alone. Be moderately divorced from the group and learn to get along with yourself. Loneliness is precious, in such undisturbed time and space, it is a great "freedom" to arrange how to spend this time by your wishes. In a very limited free time and space every day, if you can achieve "self-discipline", planning, moderation, and self-motivation, you can bring "efficiency" and achieve things that others cannot do, and you will become yourself. It is the loneliness that makes you different, not gregariousness. It is the loneliness that makes you stand out, not gregarious. Those who are talented and make a difference are those who enjoy and take advantage of loneliness. they accumulate energy when they are lonely so that they can explode and bloom when they are not alone; but those who are afraid of loneliness, those who look for a sense of existence in the dining table, wine table, and karaoke hall all day long will surely be overwhelmed by the rest of the world.