I don't like to call you, so what?
There is a word in Beijing dialect that specifically describes people like me. Pestle nest.
when many people come into contact with their children, they have the biggest problem, that is, they do not treat themselves as outsiders; they do not treat other people's children as outsiders; and most importantly, they do not treat their children as human beings.
Chinese New year is still a gathering everywhere. Relatives and friends haven't seen each other for a year, so they take the opportunity to eat and drink together. Although it is boring for everyone to complain year after year, some of the closest blood relatives in the world get together at this moment. In fact, I enjoy it in my heart, and so do I. I think it's quite a good gathering this year.
but I guess my daughter is not so comfortable.
on the third day of the Lunar New year, the Chinese New year Party Organizing Committee organizes a large family to eat out and have a party. I was smug and arrived a little late. When I pushed the door in, the room was almost full. The laughter of adults and the cries of children were loud, noisy and lively.
seeing our family of four coming in, the comrades stood up to greet each other and gave them great face. As a young son, I was greatly honored and hastened to greet you. After a few big people showed off, they began to plug red envelopes as a symbol of happiness and peace, which I personally welcomed. Although there is no privilege of receiving red envelopes now, it is a good thing that the children have taken over from me.
comrades are very enthusiastic and come to us with red envelopes, affectionately and sincerely, but they may feel that it is very hurtful to talk about money without saying a word, so red envelopes cannot be given directly. We have to communicate emotionally first.
my son has grown up. After many years of war, he is already a very experienced warrior. After a while, he collected all the red packets he should have collected, and quickly joined the ranks of Boy Scouts, who have a bad hobby of playing with mobile phones and watching IPAD.
but my daughter is obviously not so used to it.
several adults came to my daughter in a whirlwind and called the encirclement.
"who am I?"
my daughter popped up on me.
"what do you call me?"
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my daughter looked at each other and lowered her eyelids.
"do you want a red packet?"
my daughter buried her head on my shoulder.
"then I can give your red packet to my brother. Is it called?"
my daughter finally looked up and shouted, "Don't scream!" I don't want red packets either. " Then I buried my head on my shoulder.
in her heart, she must feel that these people who don't even know who they are and need to ask her great fools what they give them are probably not very smart, so they are determined not to ask for them.
"No red packets? He has the same temper as your father did when he was a child. " The comrades went away in a whirlwind to find the next child.
I am very happy in my heart. On the one hand, I am very grateful to my comrades for the conclusion that I have no doubt about my genetic inheritance, and on the other hand, in my arms, this child who resolutely refuses to do anything he doesn't want to do and doesn't even pay for it is like my mother's dream child.
I deeply love my daughter's high temperament and think she is so cool that I quickly kissed her more than 180 times.
one of my biggest faults is that I am stupid, straightforward and casual. I make a face of what I don't like to do. My daughter really follows me on this point, but she is better than me.
when I was a child, when I took red envelopes for the Spring Festival, I most liked those who put red envelopes into my arms and left. There was no superfluous word. The emotional expression of "take away and spend" was very direct, and the money was warm in my heart.
but some people talk a lot of nonsense. Let me ask you about this and that, first ask about your personal situation. It takes half a day to get this money, and it takes half a day to get a red envelope. I really don't want this money. Generally speaking, when I get it, I will quickly retaliate and spend it.
I also have a heart to save their face several times. I want to reject the red envelopes of people who talk too much with the gesture of rejecting pornography, gambling and drugs, but because of the great role of this little money in the era of material scarcity, I am even more afraid that the adults of my family will scold me for speaking at the wrong time for the Spring Festival. I also broke my waist and clenched my teeth to cooperate with them, but it took me a long time to whisper after the ideological struggle, and I felt hypocritical and embarrassed in my heart. When I finished, I disgusted myself for a long time. I felt that I had changed my money by selling my body, which was not noble enough.
so, when I was a child, I decided in my heart that I was not that festive child. When I met that close relative and friend, I quickly prayed not to give me a red envelope. When it got awkward, you felt that I was losing money, and I really didn't want it-- why should I add jam to the other side when I was celebrating the Spring Festival? I was so happy today, why should I say shooting seed wow?!
when I kissed my daughter for 178, I sighed that if I had half of my daughter's consciousness, I wouldn't have been bothered.
there is a word in Beijing dialect that specifically describes people like me. Pestle nest.
clubbing describes people who are afraid of meeting strangers, are shy when they meet strangers, and are not good at dealing with people other than acquaintances. In addition, the title has a derogatory meaning of "bossy in the nest". It means that a person who can keep talking in his own world has a lot of courage, but he wilts as soon as he gets outside, and it takes a lot of effort to open his mouth. Thank you.
to say that an adult is a pestle is a great irony, as if you have lost a person's best ability, you can't talk outside, that's a complete loser, a loser who can't do anything big.
to say that a child is a clubbing is also a very serious criticism, even worse than poor learning and slow brain-you can have cleverness when learning is poor, and you can make up for it with diligence when your brain is slow, but pestle Wanzi is really too fucking hopeless, unable to go to the table, and it is a very rude thing, and parents are shameless and deeply feel that they have failed in education.
this standard is widely available.Around me, I have been called pestle Wo Zi, once the heart is very miserable.
I used to envy children with exquisite faces. I said to myself why other people's mouth was so good, spitting lotus flowers at the mouth, but I could only spit at the mouth, or they could be the monitor, and I could do my best to collect exercise books, and I had to rely on hands. I was all defeated by this character. Every time I think about it, I beat my chest and feel that I am really useless.
I also tried to please this standard, but later I gave up because I was too stupid, and eventually I didn't become a person on the scene-- I'm glad of that now, because I later found out that most of the people around me in the scene are mouth traffickers, and those with greater wisdom tend to be less talkative-- and history does prove some. There are many pestle nests among the people who are really making contributions in the field of social science and natural science. Of course, it does not mean that all capable people are pestling, but at least it shows that whether a person is a pestle or not has nothing to do with whether he is good or not. Whether or not he will cooperate with the bad taste of adults when he is a child has nothing to do with politeness.
if talent is judged by the size of his voice and how well he speaks, the world is in a mess-the donkey may become an immortal beast, and the descendant of the donkey doesn't sound so respectable.
I declare that I have absolutely no malice and discrimination against donkeys. I like donkeys in Miyamafu very much.
two days ago, my friend complained to me that there was a quarrel in their family. I asked why he was celebrating the Spring Festival. He said that when his sister and her family went to the elders' house for a party, an elder teased the child and had to let the child call her, but the child refused to follow her. She chased and intercepted for a long time without success. Finally (think) half-jokingly said to the child: "you little thing, don't you have a loud voice at home?" You don't dare to talk when you see us, are you a little fool? " So when the child's father and the friend's brother-in-law heard this, he blew up the hair: "We are not little fools, we just don't like to talk to her." Finally led to a strange quarrel, broke up in discord.
the contradiction seems to be caused by a broken mouth.
indeed, both mouths are broken enough. The child's father's EQ is not high, so if he can bear it during the Spring Festival, there is no need to start an open fire quarrel, but the elder nagging and forcing a child endlessly does not have a kind word in the end, which is really unpopular. After so many years, he has not made any progress.
I think the root cause is that many people have the biggest problem when they come into contact with their children, that is, they don't treat themselves as outsiders; they don't treat other people's children as outsiders; and most importantly, they don't treat their children as human beings.
everyone understands that adults need distance to communicate with each other, and it is quite clear that "not if you think you have a good relationship, you can play any joke", but you can't hold a child when you meet a child. He thinks that he is "kind", "funny" and "caring" with strong bad taste and aggressiveness, and he may not have much bad intentions, but he has no respect at all.
someone once kindly asked my son whether he likes his father or his mother. This man is very exploratory, but I don't think he will like to be asked whether he likes his wife or his mother-and I don't think he really wants to figure out who my son likes. Someone once asked my son with concern, if mom and dad don't like you so much with a sister. This man is very warm-hearted, but I think he should first worry about whether his father will tear up all the pictures of his own mother to make it more appropriate-I am also sincerely concerned, but I won't say it.
there were people who were very worried that my son was a little too stubborn-- he did have a time like my daughter, who was very loving. But I think he still thinks about how his messy son, who is in his late thirties and has just pulled a plate of dishes for a bite of his favorite food, can get out of the new heights of life more realistically-even though I don't think he has the right to do so.
contact with anyone, no matter what kind of relationship, even blood relationship, whether for adults or children, all need distance.
later, I drank with everyone with a kettle at the dinner table, and the atmosphere was warm.
after drinking the first pot, some people began to slow down, holding up their glasses for a long time before taking a sip;
after drinking the second pot, some people began to politely refuse, saying that they were too strong to drink;
after drinking the third pot, despite the enthusiastic words of persuading wine, some people said that they would drink nothing at all.
it seems that adults still know how to refuse things they don't want to do.
I thought to myself that if I went over and asked him "who am I", he probably wouldn't drink it, let alone feel my care and love, so I didn't pester it any more.
the degree at this time seems to be just right.