Father's lake

Last weekend, my father and his colleagues came to Beijing on a business trip and stayed in a hotel far from my home.

he said on the phone that he wanted to go to the square to see the raising of the flag. In fact, I knew he was implying that he wanted me to go with him. But he also knew that I was sleepy and rushed to watch the raising of the flag at sunrise, so I was naturally reluctant to go. So when he said it, he made an understatement, as if it was just an occasional mention.

as a matter of fact, I really don't want to go. Later, he added that it doesn't matter if he has a colleague to accompany him anyway. I was relieved.

my father and I have a good relationship. It is not the kind of good father and good daughter that is common in the city, nor the traditional good of strict filial piety, but a kind of relative independence and mutual trust.

We are very much alike. When he was at school, he was the president of the student union and went to school with my mother. Later, he stayed at school and taught in the system for more than 20 years. Later, he changed his career direction in his forties, just because of interest. I decided to quit my job and become a freelancer more than a year ago. At first, he was against it, but later, after listening to me explain my attitude and reason, and knowing that I had indeed made a decision after planning and consideration, he took up the responsibility of explaining to the whole family for me.

as a father, he has his desire for control. At first, he wanted me to be there for him to arrange my life. But over the years, I can feel his restraint. Probably because he knows for sure that I am the same person as him, and I have to try everything by myself. In fact, this relationship of mutual trust with him is more or less the strength for me to choose my life at will.

there is no cold war with him, and there are not many intimate moments worth remembering. I will never post my moments on Father's Day or his birthday, and I will certainly not join a group such as "both parents are evil".

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Yes, it is such a normal, peaceful, undisturbed and caring father-daughter relationship that makes me feel lucky when I think of it. After dinner that day, I went to the Bird's Nest with him.

the lights are on and the sky is clear. The night sky is like a piece of blue velvet, gently covering the huge building shining red in front of us. Walking slowly with him, we talked to each other about the trivialities of life and discussed the news of the day. There was a cool breeze blowing in our ears, which was very pleasant.

I asked him, "how was the flag-raising trip in the square this morning?"

it seems that he doesn't want to mention it and looks disappointed: "not so good." It's just that there are a lot of people. I didn't look at anything. "

I kind of gloated: "I told you not to take part in the hustle and bustle. I had to get up so early. I might as well go to watch the flag drop sometime."

he was silent for a moment: "do you remember bringing you to Beijing when you were four years old?"

of course I remember.

the first time I saw an elevator and a foreigner in my life. The little girl in the picture, dressed in the clothes of a palace maid, sat on a fake deer taking pictures of tourists in the Imperial Palace and cried loudly.

"do you remember taking you to see the flag raising that year?"

"what?"

"I was standing right there, and you suddenly ran over and shouted, 'Dad! Dad!' I said, 'what's the hurry?' You said, 'the words on the tower are wrong!' "

"wrong?"

"you said that the right side of the city tower should not be" long live the great unity of the people of the world ", but" long live the great unity of the people of the world ", missing the word" Quan ". Let me ask you, why are you so sure? You said that the city tower painted in the book has the word "Quan". Later, the first thing I did when I went back to the hotel was to look through your picture book, and sure enough, there was the word "Quan" on it. You don't know how determined and proud you were at that time. "

"wrong in the book!"

"Yes, but at that time you believed in the book, thought it could not be wrong, and was wishful thinking and stubborn. We finally have to admit with you that there is nothing wrong with the book, but that the words on the city tower are wrong. " We talked and laughed and walked on.

"it really goes by quickly when you think about it. That day in the square, you had to say that the words on the tower were wrong, we said no, you almost cried. But do you know why you stopped crying? "

"what?"

"I picked you up, rode you around my neck, and took a picture with the city tower. When I put you down, you were still saying that the photo is the evidence, and if you go back and compare it with the book, you can prove the wrong word. "

"so cute?"

"at that time, such a small person, I really can't imagine, how come more than 20 years have passed? I was only 120 jin that year, and now I am 160 years old, and that little man doesn't say those ridiculous words anymore. I went to the place in front of the city tower today and wanted to stand there and find out how I felt at that time, but you know, it was impossible to stand there at all. "

"Why?"

"there are too many people. It's a lot more than it was then. The flow of people was pushed forward, and as soon as I tried to stand for a while to feel it, I was squeezed out. " He smiled like an understatement. The young, thin, father whose world had just opened up in front of him. And that stubborn, crying four-year-old girl who only belongs to him. Suddenly there was a slight sadness: "Why don't I go with you again?"

"No. Silly boy, sleep your big head at home! " The piece left to him in his heart has been a calm lake for so many years. At this moment, the waves rippled layer by layer.