Character determines fate? No, it's personality that determines destiny.

my favorite folk singer, perhaps the last bard in the world, Leonard Cohen, sang a lyric in Anthem: "There\ & # 39th s a crack in everything, that\ & # 39th show the light gets in\ & quot; translates as" everything has cracks, that's where the light comes in. "

I think this is the best footnote to describe all the complex human nature in the world. there is no perfect personality, and there are always some defects or even unbearable defects in human nature.

German medical doctor Borwin Bandero tells us that if Diana were not a princess, she might be a depressed, overeating, self-destructive shopaholic; if Monroe had not become a star, she would only be a part-time prostitute living on the streets of Hollywood, not happy, and her situation would only be worse.

they are not burdened by fame. Different types of personality disorders determine their lives.

sounds appalling, doesn't it? However, Dr. Bandlow is not an unscrupulous journalist who is a sensationalist. The Ph.D. and Master of Psychology from the University of Gottingen in Germany have been analyzing personality disorders of celebrities for many years, trying to find some common ground in human nature.

but Dr. Bandlow's book "hidden disease" is not easy to read, and my curious baby, who is interested in personality disorders, has not been able to read it more academically.

until some time ago, in Douban time, I bought the 52 psychological lessons offered by Jane Li, the founder of simple Psychology, on understanding personality with cracks in human nature. the course focuses on different personality types and their causes and manifestations, as well as how to get along with different personalities. The content from shallow to deep, is easy to understand, let me start to learn about personality disorders with relish.

We often say that character determines destiny, but the truth is that your mental illness determines your destiny.

from a psychological point of view, there are very few real normal people in the world, and we all have some personality disorders more or less, which is what Jane Li's course is supposed to help us realize.

probably no star can fully meet the criteria for multiple personality disorders like Michael Jackson.

all the signs people see in him: extreme narcissistic behavior, lack of self-remorse, lack of emotional focus in relationships, physical sensory disorders, dependence on drugs and bad habits, and symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder. The answer can be found in his childhood with many questions, the bad model of the original family, the racial discrimination suffered by the black community, and so on.

for example, with the pedophile rumors and charges cleared up only after his death, no one could understand why an adult male was so interested in children while he was alive.

because MJ never enjoyed the life that a child should enjoy, he started performing at the age of 5, and then his father took the children around to perform. MJ became a big star at the age of 11 and began to fly solo at the age of 14. While the other children were playing heartily, he had to be busy with his brothers one after another.

when there is no performance, we have to carry out inhumane training in the training room. When I say inhumane, I mean inhumane, without the slightest exaggeration. His father beat him with a belt and a coat hanger, burned his toes with a lighted match, and forced him to tap dance on the hot stove plate.

he could only watch the children outside admiringly through the glass, while his father even killed his beloved kitten to let him concentrate on dancing. "that was my only friend who was young," he recalled. "

he wrote in his autobiography Moonwalk: " I believe I am one of the loneliest people in the world."

when he was 30, he left his parents' home and moved directly to the 2800-acre Neverland Ranch in California, the island he built for himself and his children.

Michael Jackson added $35 million worth of facilities to the estate, where private playgrounds, playgrounds, artificial lakes, cinemas, and zoos are available, and there is a statue of Peter Pan.

the manor has pavilions, small trains, ornate streetlights, lawns, flower beds, tree houses, and an Indian village. The amusement park has facilities such as Ferris wheels, a merry-go-round, and bumper cars, and there is enough amusement equipment for a state carnival.

there is also a go-kart lane, with two separate train tracks, one of which is big enough to run an old steam train on it. There are elephants, giraffes, lions, orangutans, and other animals in the zoo.

Neverland used to be a free fantasy park for children all over the world, especially sick and poor children, who came here through various charities. MJ loved to play with children when he was alive, and then he could rarely feel happy.

after his forties, he would often watch Disney cartoons in private cinemas, play with monkeys and feed them pizza and ice cream.

an adult wanting to return to childhood is a sign of degeneration, a typically borderline personality disorder.

MJ is like the reincarnation of Peter Pan, trying to recreate the childhood he never had here. Into a vineyard.

he imagined that the time would stop forever, and the island where children would never grow up existed.

facing the charge of child molestation, he naively responded: "it has nothing to do with sex. The children and I are just sleeping in the same bed. It's as simple as that." It's the best thing in the world for everyone to fall asleep after chatting together. "

he did not forget to mention some details: "I put them on the bed, put on some music, and when it was time to listen to the story before going to bed, I picked up a book and read it aloud." He also warmed milk and snacks for the children.

his responses were severely ridiculed at that time, and people even regarded his words as acquiescence, but in fact, he just thought of himself as a child, and he never realized how intimate he was with his children. how nasty and obscene in the eyes of adults.

MJ also named his two sons and even daughters after Michael, a typical narcissistic act in which he wants to clone and continue himself, but not the original him-he wants an evolutionary version of snow-skinned blond hair.

extreme narcissism often means extreme inferiority.

the fact that he married a white woman and even the surrogate mother is white has deeply hurt the feelings of some people of color.

coupled with the fact that he suffered from family-inherited vitiligo in 1986, he needed makeup to cover up his uneven complexion, but in pursuit of perfection, he never disclosed his illness. as a result, many unscrupulous tabloids took the opportunity to smear his skin and wanted to become white, so he was accused of "betraying race" before his death.

because the melanin-deficient skin of patients with vitiligo is most afraid of the sun, as long as it is exposed to the sun for 15 minutes, the skin will be hurt, so MJ takes an umbrella as soon as he goes out after the illness. I used to think that he was afraid of being tanned, but now it seems that he is afraid of the sun because he is afraid of the sun. the skin without melanin is most afraid of the sun. As long as he is exposed to the sun for 15 minutes, his skin will be seriously hurt.

his lack of confidence in his appearance, his special attention to his nose, and his repeated plastic surgery maybe just because of his father's blow over the years. His father repeatedly said how ugly he was and how funny his nose was. "I don't know where your big nose came from," he said. " "there was a time when he (my father) came up to me and I wanted to throw up," MJ said. "

so he doesn't want to be white, he just wants to be the imaginary lovable child in his father's heart.

in the later period, he became thinner and thinner, he showed an obvious tendency to self-harm. On the one hand, he seemed to be addicted to plastic surgery, on the other hand, he had eating disorders. "sometimes the assistant forced it on me with his hands, and I had an eating disorder, but I tried to eat as much as I could." Only pain can make him feel that he is in control of his body, which is a typical manifestation of masochistic personality disorder.

as for MJ's behavior of wearing gloves and masks and putting masks on children to appear in public, it is because he is afraid of being infected with germs. People with obsessive-compulsive disorder often have morbid fear and fear of being infected when they come into contact with others. This additional manifestation of obsessive-compulsive disorder can be found in the characteristics of borderline personality disorder.

because not everyone has such borderline personality disorder, it should be said that most people know nothing about the performance of personality disorder, so people can not understand his various seemingly strange behaviors.

many tragedies are caused by the lack of understanding between people. Further looking back, the cause of many tragedies is that we don't know enough about ourselves.

this is also the fundamental reason why I want to deeply understand and learn about personality, because I can't understand many kinds of people I meet in life, and I can't understand some of my psychological problems.

if you want to change yourself, it is very important to know yourself first and explore inward to understand your weaknesses and make peace with the world.

first of all, it must be pointed out that personality disorder is certainly not a mental illness, so people need not be afraid and do not be ashamed to discuss their mental state.

what is personality? Personality is a stable behavior pattern of an individual, with stability and inertia.

the various feelings we formed when we were growing up about ourselves, others, and the world. To deal with these feelings, our unique behavior patterns have formed different "personality" characteristics of each person.

Why is there a personality disorder?

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individuals living in society are not isolated islands. Our personality formation is influenced by society, family, culture, religion, education, and other aspects. Not everyone can develop a healthy personality in the process of personality formation.

everyone will face some psychological difficulties in the process of growing up, such as the contradiction of intimate relationships, the identity of gender roles, and so on. The transition between personality and personality disorder is unimpeded, and people's remarkable personality traits are likely to deviate from the standard range.

as to what deviates from the standard, psychiatrists have a classification of personality disorders into three main categories: phobic, eccentric, and emotional, with some more detailed subcategories under each category.

for example, narcissistic personality, masochistic personality, depressive personality, and antisocial personality are all emotional personality disorders, and a person may have multiple personality disorders.

the narcissistic personality is very common, the star of show business are more or less narcissistic, they enjoy their lives being watched, every photo and nonsense is liked by thousands of people, and they even enjoy the feeling of being in the spotlight.

praise and attention from others can make narcissists feel satisfied. The meaning of the existence of others is a tool for narcissists to make themselves feel good.

speaking of which, do you feel an arrow in the knee?

pay too much attention to our image on social tools such as moments. When we eat, drink, and play, taking photos and posting moments brings more satisfaction than eating, drinking, and merrymaking itself. We all seem to be narcissists like us who are uncomfortable without browsing moments all day.

after this class on narcissistic personality, there is a special narcissistic personality scale. I tested it, er, and found that my narcissistic degree is also quite high, so you should give me more praise, otherwise, I will be depressed because I am not satisfied!

Jane Lilly also mentioned in the course that Trump is probably the most famous narcissist in the world today.

We haven't seen such a grandiose, conceited, arrogant man who wants to attract attention all day long. He reminds us of the male peacock jumping up and down in the zoo to attract the attention of the female peacock. He hugged his supermodel wife like a nouveau riche saying, "look!" There's nothing I can't get what I want, envy and hate, faggots! "

but other people's perception of narcissists is like this. Trump's wife changed her face behind the moment:

narcissism is nothing, as long as it does not affect work, life, and study, it does not hurt, but some personality disorders develop to a certain stage, which will make people's long-term accumulation not easy to solve. Like MJ, they will gradually make their lives and emotions out of control, and the problems will snowball. And then it all fell apart.

that's why the so-called thousands of miles dike break in an ant's nest. the inextricable knots in our lives, and the codes that determine our fate, are often hidden between these inconspicuous cracks.

without this psychological knowledge to help us see ourselves clearly, we will only get into the situation of complaining and never know what the problem is and how to solve it.

but psychology is not omnipotent, especially in the introductory course of psychology, if you have serious psychological problems, you should seek professional help.

but for most people, such a course is like opening a door to find the answer to the eternal question: who am I?

Jane Lilly said in the first class that the right way to learn psychology is not to match everyone. Human nature is too complicated, as the Moon and sixpence said:

despicable and great, malice and goodness, hatred and love can be mutually exclusive and exist in the same heart.

and never think about changing others, you can only change yourself, and then give correct guidance to friends with personality disorders.

whether you love yourself or others, the best way is to love with knowledge.

if you also want to know more about yourself and human nature,